We all get a reactionary to what other people do or say.
We get triggered when they act a certain way or do something that we think is wrong, inappropriate, or just plain crazy.
All too often we take these things personally.
By doing so we miss the real lesson.
What others do or say actually has very little to do with us.
Our mind thinks it does.
To our mind, we are the center of the universe and everything is about us.
Rarely is that the case.
What is important to realize is that the feeling that comes up from that situation is about us.
The sore spot, the pain point, or the trigger that got activated is something for us to work on.
It is the unresolved issue we are still carrying around with us.
It is the key to doing the deeper work.
It shows us where we can learn to be more gentle with ourselves.
Where we can be more patient with our own shortcomings.
Where we can be kinder to our part in this play.
The harsher reaction we have, the deeper the pain goes.
Perhaps it is something we have been carrying around with us since we were children?
Maybe it has something to do with our parents or siblings?
And if we are really sharp, maybe we can see how it relates to our sense of self?
When we learn to be more kind and loving to ourselves, it is easy to be kind and loving to others.
When we can really see for ourselves that the trigger is about us and not the other person, we can be more patient, more calm and more rational with them.
It is not something we learn overnight.
It takes practice.
It takes determination.
Yet the payoff for looking deeper at ourselves is priceless.
Have you been triggered lately?
Start there and see what you can find.
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant