We all love to get compliments.
It feels good to hear others speak kindly about us.
Yet sometimes there is a challenge to it.
We can have difficulty receiving the compliment.
Especially when it is about a part of us we don’t feel very good about.
NO MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY, WE JUST CAN’T FEEL IT OURSELVES.
Perhaps we don’t feel as good looking or pretty as they say.
Maybe we just can’t connect with the idea that we’re smart, capable or wise.
IT CAN BE HARD TO TAKE IN SUCH COMPLIMENTS WHEN WE ARE NOT USED TO THEM OR FEEL WE HAVEN’T EARNED THEM.
A lot fo it may come down to early childhood experiences.
If we were never complimented by our parents, then how can we be good?
When we are used to being told we can do better, how can we feel that we actually have done better?
NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS, WE HAVE TO FEEL IT.
We might momentarily acknowledge the compliment, and then immediately move on to something else.
Or we could ignore the compliment altogether.
FOR IF WE DON’T TRULY FEEL IT IN OUR BODY, OUR MIND CAN NOT REGISTER IT.
Our nervous system can’t process the compliment.
No matter how many times we hear it, it does not matter.
So how do we learn to let in these compliments we cannot feel?
The first step to wait.
DO NOT RESPOND RIGHT AWAY.
Just take a moment and try to feel it.
The more awareness we bring to hearing the compliment, the better chance we have of actually letting it in.
It might not happen the first time.
Or the second time.
BUT IF WE STICK WITH THE PRACTICE, EVENTUALLY WE WILL START TO FEEL IT A TINY BIT.
And then more.
We can also use some physical cues to help us to receive the compliment.
Like putting your hand over your heart.
And take a moment.Then try saying “Thank You.”
BY TAKING TIME TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE COMPLIMENT YOU GIVE YOUR BODY TIME TO FEEL IT.
Even if you can’t feel it in the beginning, with practice you will.
The more space we give ourselves to feel something, anything, the more likely we are to actually feel it.
So over time, with patience and practice, we will feel those compliments.
Even if they seem hollow and untrue in the beginning.
If people keep telling you that you are good, handsome, smart, dependable, then they are reflecting something back to you that they see clearly.
Even if we don’t.
SO WE CAN ALL PRACTICE GIVING MORE SPACE TO THE MOMENT WHEN SOMEONE PAYS US A COMPLIMENT.
And one day when we say “Thank You” we will really mean it.
So when have you been paid a compliment and truly taken it in?
Can you give more space when someone says something nice about you to really feel it and take it in?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant
Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour