Being alone does not make us feel lonely.
When we are by ourselves, we can still feel connected.
Even though we may keep our physical distance we can still be okay.
We can also feel like we are alone when we are with people.
So where does this feeling of loneliness come from?
Loneliness is different than just a desire to be with others.
It is not about living by ourselves or not spending time with those we care about.
Loneliness comes from a much deeper place.
A place where we rarely visit.
For the feelings inside that place is not just scary.
Those feelings are terrifying and filled with anguish.
Sometimes they come from loss.
Especially when we lose someone close.
They might come from a sense of alienation.
Yet alienation is not the true source.
That place we are so scared to visit is a place of disconnection.
It is a dark place of not being connected with ourselves.
With our essence.
With the even deeper place inside of us that beyond such feelings.
Our trauma and our unpleasant experiences cause a schism inside.
A break where once there was only joy and freedom.
It is a place that we learn to cover up and ignore.
We learn how to deal with the pain by numbing it or cutting ourselves off from it.
And when we cut ourselves off from it, we cut ourselves off from so much more.
From our true inner strength and our inner peace.
We can regain them.
But it requires going back to that scary place and healing it.
To bring it back into our awareness and our consciousness.
And to do that we need to be alone.
To just be with ourselves.
To strip away all of the distractions and all of the coping mechanisms so we can truly face it.
For once we admit that we have the pain, that we are afraid, that we still are holding onto the torment underneath everything else, then we move through it.
It is not easy to face it and move through it.
To feel that pain and allow it a voice.
In fact, it might be just one of the hardest things we will ever do in our lifetime.
Yet the rewards are tremendous.
For when we are truly connected to everything that is inside of us, we will never be alone again.
We will be calm and comfortable to just be with ourselves when no one else is around.
With no need for distractions.
And by acknowledging the loneliness we feel deep inside, we will never feel alone again.
Whether we are with people or not.
Is that not a price worth pursuing?
Are you ready to face that pain inside yourself and finally heal it?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant