Communication is inherently imperfect.
The words we use and even how we say them are always open to interpretation.
As human beings, we make mistakes all the time about what was meant or even what was said.
To expect things to go perfectly all the time is unrealistic.
Yet, if we commit to staying present to the conversation, we can come to a mutual understanding.
We can clarify and correct.
We can see where the perception is different from our intention.
And we can add further communication to improve the understanding.
The one thing we cannot afford to do is decrease communication.
It may be uncomfortable at times.
It may take extra effort to stay present.
When we decide to withdraw and decrease or stop our communication, that’s when the real trouble begins.
Should we choose to stop communicating, then we create a real blockage to understanding.
When we close up and stop interacting with the other person, then nothing can move forward.
It does not matter who we think is right or wrong.
It does not matter who was justified or not.
It all ends the moment we decide that it is not longer worth communicating.
That’s how most relationship end.
Without communication, there can be no relationship.
Yet if we can do the difficult work of staying open.
Of being present to the conversation regardless of how we feel about the other person.
Then, something can move.
Then, there is at least some hope.
Then, we can change the outcome and work through whatever it was that was bothering us.
We can’t do any of that if we clam-up and go away.
The amazing thing is, when we stay present and continue to communicate, most things can be worked out.
Most of the time we will find out that we misunderstood what was said or meant.
Or they will.
The important thing is not who was right or wrong.
The important thing is that we stuck around to talk it through until either there is some resolution or there some mutual agreement about an ending.
Either way, everyone involved feels better knowing that they did everything they could to work it out.
Sometimes we do have to walk away.
Many times, we just have to stay present and keep talking.
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant
