When we are engaged in deep inner work, we need several things.
Acceptance from those around us.
Time and space to integrate.
An environment that supports us.
AND THE MOST ESSENTIAL THING WE NEED IS SAFETY.
Safety does not come from a locked door or a quiet neighborhood.
It comes from the feeling we get when those around us accept us.
WE CULTIVATE THAT FEELING OF SAFETY FROM KNOWING THAT OUR COMMUNITY SUPPORTS US AND WILL ALLOWS US TO BE THE WAY WE ARE AS WE WORK THROUGH THINGS.
For they have been through the process themselves.
So they know what it is to be vulnerable and scared.
For when we are in the midst of doing the deep work to unwind our trauma it doesn’t look pretty.
IT IS MESSY AND AWKWARD AND NEEDS TO BE HANDLED WITH CARE AND COMPASSION.
And to feel safe in that space we need to know and feel that others have been there and can relate to what we are going through.
If they haven’t, there is just no way for them to understand.
No matter how well meaning they may be.
FOR US TO BE TRULY UNDERSTOOD AND SUPPORTED IN THE WAY WE NEED, IT TAKES A LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING THAT ONLY COMES FROM EXPERIENCE.
And that experience breeds compassion and acceptance in a deep and profound way.
Only then can we feel safe to be vulnerable enough to dig deep and face the fact that we are hurt, in pain, scared to death, and afraid.
To come face to face with the most terrifying aspects of our lives takes courage.
But we can only get there when the safety of the container we work in is at the highest levels.
TRUE SAFETY IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN ALLOW US TO BE THAT VULNERABLE.
It might be a little different for each of us, but we all know the feeling.
We can recognize in an instant if we truly feel safe in our community or not, even if we do not consciously know.
So many little things can break the safety of the container.
We must be mindful of those things so we can show up not only for ourselves, but others as well.
It is not an easy thing to decide to engage in this level of deep work.
But the rewards are well worth it.
THE FREEDOM, THE JOY, THE PEACE WE SO LONG FOR ARE JUST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT WORK.
Do you know what you need to feel safe enough to be vulnerable?
Have you a community that can hold that space for you to do your dep inner work?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant
Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour