Gratitude is a very powerful tool.
It can help us to deal with some of the most difficult times.
Finding something to be grateful for can be a challenge.
Yet when we do, we can transform almost anything in our lives.
Especially our trauma.
We may look back on our lives and see a lot of pain and suffering.
It can be hard to remember the good times.
WHEN WE CONTINUALLY TELL THE STORY OF OUR TRAUMA WE KEEP FEEDING IT AND KEEP IT ALIVE.
We continue to blame others, and ourselves, and we stay the victim.
The result is that we lose our agency and our power.
If we decide that we’ve had enough of it and we want to change the story, then we can insert gratitude to create a whole new scenario.
WHAT WAS ONCE AN EXPERIENCE OF NEGLECT CAN NOW BE SEEN AS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR FREEDOM.
An experience of pain can now be seen as the fire that forged our metal.
The anguish of abuse can be turned into a gift of a lifelong calling.
In the moment all of these are horrible and painful experiences.
With time and a shift of perspective we can undo the hold they have on us.
BY USING GRATITUDE TO FIND A WAY TO APPRECIATE OUR LIFE EXPERIENCES, WE CAN COMPLETELY FLIP THE STORY AROUND.
We used to talk about how neglected we were as a child.
How we were left alone and not given ay guidance.
And how that experience made us feel unloved and unwanted.
BY SEEKING FOR SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR WE CAN TOTALLY CHANGE THAT STORY.
Our neglect turns into our freedom.
We are no longer left alone to fend for ourselves.
Now, we say that we were given so much freedom so we could find ourselves.
The lack of guidance turns into an opportunity to discover for ourselves our own unique path.
And that feeling of being unloved and unwanted turns into a story of how much they loved us so much that they allowed us the freedom to find our own way.
Now, we truly have something to be grateful for.
OUR STORY CHANGES AND WE NO LONGER TELL THE TALE OF THE PAIN OF NEGLECT.
That story is now one of the joy we had to find ourselves.
And how grateful we are to have had that experience.
Just like that our whole world changes.
WITH A SIMPLE SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE AND WITH AN EYE TOWARDS WHAT WE HAVE TO BE GRATEFUL FOR, WE HAVE RESHAPED OUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE.
Not in some ungrounded, whimsical way, but in a very real, very substantial way.
All it takes is seeing through the eyes of gratitude.
Of being will to consider that regardless of how much pain and suffering we have endured, that there is something to be grateful for.
IT MAY FEEL AT TIMES THAT THERE IS NOTHING IN OUR PAIN THAT WE HAVE TO BE GRATEFUL FOR.
And that is okay for the moment.
When we are truly ready to give up our pain, then we have the opportunity to start to change.
AND IN THAT SPECIAL MOMENT, WE CAN AT LEAST TRY TO SEE THROUGH THE EYES OF APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE.
Especially at this time of year.
Do you have a pain you are tired of holding on to?
Are you willing to try to see it through the eyes of gratitude?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant
Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour