Being truly vulnerable is scary.
To bare our deepest fears and pain is hard.
It is not something we do in front of other people.
Yet there is real power in actually doing it.
When we come to the point where we are willing to do something most other people don’t, we have achieved something special.
How do we get to that place?
What is the secret to being able to be so brave with other people?
It is not about developing courage, although that helps.
And it is not about learning to speak up in front of others, although that helps too.
It is about something much deeper, much more scary.
Learning to be truly comfortable to share our pain with another person is about feeling safe.
No just feeling safe with the other person.
More importantly, it is about feeling safe with ourselves.
Being kinder, gentler, and more compassionate with ourselves.
We first have to learn to hold ourselves in the midst of our own pain before can share it with another.
It is about allowing it to be okay to be hurt, to be angry, to be sad.
Finding a way to completely accept ourselves with all our flaws and all our mistakes.
Totally accepting who we are, and especially those parts we don’t like so much.
Accepting it all, without any judgment.
We first have to be able to bare our soul to ourselves.
Then we can bare it to other people.
For the greatest challenge is holding the space for us to able to feel the pain first.
Once we have felt the raw, unadulterated emotions, then we can share it with another person.
And after we have told someone the first deep dark secret, the second one is easier to share.
Once we find ourselves in a safe environment to share our pain to a small group, we can do it.
Eventually, we come into greater awareness and acceptance of ourselves, we can be truly vulnerable in front of others.
It does not happen overnight or even in a few weeks.
It can take months, even years of effort to get there.
Yet once we do there is a real treasure awaiting us.
That treasure is not just the ability to be vulnerable in front of others.
Yet that skill is golden in and of itself.
The real treasure is that once we can do it we give others the desire and the permission for them to do it themselves.
By transforming ourselves and being willing to display that transformation in front of others is what leads them to want to transform themselves.
It is the most powerful gift we can give.
Yet we may never see the results of that gift.
And it is still worth it, every step of the way.
Is there one small step you can take to be vulnerable with yourself, and then someone else?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant