People tend to keep themselves busy.
We are almost always in a constant state of doing something.
If it is not work, it is errands around the home.
We rarely just sit and be with ourselves.
And when we do have the opportunity to relax, we normally do that with others.
So how much time do we spend by ourselves?
How much time do we spend distracting ourselves?
Yet the real questions is, what are we distracting ourselves from?
What is it that causes us to constantly be on the phone or the TV when we are by ourselves?
Perhaps it is that we don’t really want to feel that we’re alone.
Maybe underneath all that noise and busyness is the pain of feeling alone?
When a pain is so deep and basic, we will do anything to avoid feeling it.
We run away from feeling it because to feel the pain of loneliness can be devastating.
Like when a parent loses a child or a spouse.
When our life has been so tied to another human and suddenly they are gone, it can be quite shocking.
Yet to really feel it, to feel the pain of being alone seems unbearable.
But if we don’t feel it we will never be free from it.
We will continue to keep ourselves busy for the rest of our lives.
And one day we will wake up and wonder where all the time went.
There is no easy way through the pain.
It is a part of us and if we do not allow ourselves to feel it, it will haunt us for the rest of our days.
Perhaps we do not have to feel it all at once.
Maybe we can just dip our toe in the pain and release a little at a time.
Consistent action of a long period of time can add up to quite a lot.
How ever we decide to approach our pain of loneliness is up to us.
Yet when we deal with it, itis one of our deepest core issues to face.
And when we are able to face it and embrace it we can be free of it.
When we do that, then we can be alone whenever we want without fear.
We can truly be with ourselves without distraction.
And maybe we can even get rid of our addiction to being busy.
Perhaps you can try being just with yourself without distraction?
Maybe that fear of touching your loneliness, is not as bad as you thought?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant