We can feel all alone in the world.
That no one else knows our pain.
It is as if our own trauma is so unique.
That there cannot possibly be someone else who can understand.
Who feels what we feel.
And who has been through what we have been through.
IT CAN FEEL SO LONELY TO LIVE IN OUR OWN SKIN.
We go through our daily life doing the best we can.
Carrying on in the face of our pain.
While we can make friends and connect with some people, we still feel alone.
As if we will never find someone who can truly relate to our experiences.
Years pass by and learn to live with the loneliness and push forward.
YET EVERYDAY FEELS LIKE AN EFFORT.
Not just to get out of bed, but just to live.
That feeling we can’t quite shake that we’re not like everyone else.
No one understands.
And no one can relate.
THEN SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS.
When we can’t stand how we feel anymore and we go out and seek help, we often get surprised.
We come to a group or a healing circle, praying for some relief.
Hoping beyond hope that there is some way to feel better.
And somehow the universe puts us right next to someone else who is complete stranger.
Because we don’t really know them we somehow feel safe to share with them.
We share our pain, our guilt, our loss, our grief and our trauma with them.
As we look at them we notice something we’ve never seen before.
THERE IS A GLINT OF RECOGNITION IN THEIR EYES.
Then they share their pain, their guilt, their loss, their grief, and their trauma with us.
And it can feel like someone just held up a mirror to us.
Their story is like our story in so many ways.
Not exactly alike, but close enough for them to empathize with us, and we empathize with them.
Suddenly, we realize that there is a deep connection between the two of us.
That our pain is a shared pain.
And we are no longer the only person in the world who feels the ways we do.
THE INTIMACY OF THAT CONNECTION BRINGS US HEALING IN A WAY WE NEVER EXPECTED.
Even though we can still feel our pain, we somehow have more capacity for it.
Our internal container is larger and stronger.
AND WE NO LONGER FEEL SO ALONE.
We may have entered the group as strangers.
But we leave the group and two souls who have a shared connection.
Nothing will ever take that away.
Our hearts now beat a little easier.
And our heads rest easier that night as we fall asleep.
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant
Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour
