We all want attention.
Even when we feel like hiding.
That doesn’t mean we want to be ignored.
There is something in us that needs to be seen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be seen.
We create all kinds of work and art to be seen.
The real challenge is how we respond when we are not seen.
What do we do when the people we want to see us the most don’t even look?
It can be hard to feel invisible.
We feel lousy when others misinterpret our words or actions.
Yet those uncomfortable feelings give us a clue to where our inner work is.
Do we feel inadequate because they don’t see us?
Do we feel less than?
Does it stir up our insecurities?
If it does, congratulations!
Now we have some real gold to deal with.
Why do we need others to see us to feel validated?
What do we need from the world to feel that we are enough?
The tricky part about the whole issue is that we will always be let down when we depend on others this way.
For they have their own challenges to deal with.
They are dealing with their own insecurities.
The truly difficult part of learning is to see ourselves.
To see how good we are and how we are more than enough, even when we don’t feel it.
For how can anyone else truly see us clearly if we do not see ourselves clearly?
How can we expect others to see our innate value when we do not recognize it ourselves?
This is where the act of self-care and self-compassion come in.
When we are in the midst of those feelings of loneliness and despair is when we need to be kinder and gentler with ourselves.
If we can stand on our own and say to ourselves that we matter when no one else seems to care, then we have reached the other side.
Then we can begin to grow more fully into ourselves.
And we can accept and access our gifts more fully.
For when we see ourselves as the beings of infinite potential that we truly are, it does not matter if anyone else can see that or not.
We can stand up and be tall even when we are all by ourselves.
And then when someone does truly see us, we can take it in not from a place of need or feeling less than, but from a place of true humility.
For when we see ourselves clearly, we can others clearly as well.
Then we will know in our hearts that we are all much more then we appear to be.
We are all greater and carry more possibilities inside of us than we can ever discover.
So how can you see yourself more clearly?
How can you let go of the need to be seen by others?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant