There is an interesting dance we do.
One where we can go to extremes.
We may find it hard to acknowledge our gifts one day.
And the next day we tell people how great we are.
It is a common occurrence for those of us who do not have a balanced sense of self.
For it is truly a challenge to see ourselves clearly.
To be objective about how good we are at something.
Or perhaps we think we are better at it than we really are.
Sometimes it can just be a swing in our mood that takes us into judgment about ourselves.
We take failure as a sign we are not good people or that we are not special.
Yet if we ask others what they see in us, we get a totally different perspective.
For they are not in the middle of the emotional storm about us, only about themselves.
So someone else can see clearly that we are great at one thing or only mediocre at something else.
When we ask our friends for the truth about us, the responses we receive can be quite enlightening.
Others can see that we are smart, kind, or capable in an instant.
Yet when we look in the mirror we only all of our faults.
When we get stuck in that pattern of self-criticism it can be a good reminder to ask someone else what they see in us.
What do they see as our greatest qualities?
Where do they see we can improve?
This is not to say that a close friend might not go soft on us to cheer us up if they feel we are upset.
Yet if we are in a good mood when we ask, we are likely to get some quite interesting responses.
So when we are doubting ourselves, unsure of ourselves, or just plain can’t see anything of value in ourselves, it is a good reminder to ask someone else.
And if we cannot feel what they say about us, then it is time to take their words and repeat them to ourselves.
Out loud.
Then in front of a mirror.
Saying their words like we really mean it, even if we don’t feel it at the moment.
Especially when we don’t feel it at the moment!
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant
Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour
