We sometimes do things to please others.
To try to make them feel safe around us.
We think we can make them happy this way.
Yet it rarely turns out that way.
For a very simple reason.
ONE THAT WE OVERLOOK ALL THE TIME.
It might be counter-intuitive, yet it makes sense.
When we are trying to please others, we are not being authentic.
We are not standing up for ourselves.
ULTIMATELY, WE ARE NOT BEING TRUTHFUL TO WHO WE ARE.
Not truly being in alignment with who we are.
And people feel it.
Maybe not consciously, but they feel it anyway.
That feeling comes up as a sense of untrustworthiness.
AS A SENSE THAT WE ARE NOT REALLY BEING HONEST.
So while we think we are doing something to make the other person feel better, they actually don’t because they don’t feel they can trust us.
The real truth is that when we are truly being authentic and showing up in alignment with how we feel, the other person feels better even if it does not go along with what they say.
When we are being truthful to ourselves, the other person can feel it and that creates a sense of safety.
A sense that we can be trusted to tell the truth.
That we will be honest regardless of their own desires and feelings.
And that is what creates true safety.
THE HONESTY, THE ALIGNMENT WITH OURSELVES, BRINGS THE CONNECTION WE DESIRE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO BE WHO WE THINK OTHERS WANT US TO BE.
So the hardest part is really just being honest with ourselves.
To be truthful about what we want and how we feel so we can express it to another person.
When we feel that we are in alignment with ourselves, the other person will feel it instantly.
Our words will carry the energy of our truth.
The posture we hold will reflect that as well.
OUR WHOLE BEING WILL SPEAK VOLUMES EVEN BEFORE WE SAY ANYTHING.
And that is what people want more than anything else.
So how can you be more truthful with others?
Do you know it feels like to be in true alignment with yourself?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant
Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour
