20171003

When we work with others, as a profession, vocation or avocation, we sometimes think it’s all about them.

Actually, it’s all about us.

When we work with a group, whether it’s our tribe, our following or our bowling league, the group has come together because of common energy. The issues that arise are issues for everyone, in some way, not just an issue for the one person that triggers it.

It does not matter if you’re a workshop facilitator, a healer, a shaman, an athletic coach, a teacher, or an executive consultant, the faces may look different, the clothes (or uniforms) may be far apart, yet the underlying energies and patterns are still present.

If we find ourselves getting annoyed at someone in the group who is not contributing or not participating fully, then we must ask ourselves, How are we not contributing or participating?

When we find someone not doing their own work or not doing their homework, how are we not doing our own work?

The group reflects the individual and the individual reflects the group. It cannot be any other way or we would not be with that particular group, or they would not be with us.

The issues may not be directly correlated, perhaps someone is cheap with you because your are cheap with yourself or your family, even though you are generous with your friends. We just need to learn to be more figurative in our interpretations, not quite so literal.

It is not easy to see our own nonsense reflected back to us from other people. In fact, one of the hardest lessons to learn is that it’s all our nonsense, in some manner, that we are being triggered by.

If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t trigger us…

20170912

Taking time to remember our ancestors is not something we do for them, it is for ourselves.

Our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents all had lives that were lived in very different times, yet their experience, their stories, their lineage all add to the fabric of our own existence.

Did they come from overseas? Did they lose their families in the war? Were they successful or did they work long and hard for not much recognition?

Their DNA is in our bodies. Their names live on in our hearts. Their trauma, their joy and their accomplishments all contributed to who we have become.

By remembering them, reflecting on what they endured and what they celebrated it gives us a stronger foundation upon which to build. We stand on their shoulders and we see greater heights because of what they did. Even the things that they thought were insignificant may have played a big role in shaping who we eventually grew into.

So let’s take some time to remember them, to honor them, and recognize how even if we never met them in person, they have influenced our lives in ways beyond our imagination. Let’s all learn to be a little more grateful for those who came before us.

20170831

Commitment is about much more than just making a decision.

Yes, it starts with a decision, a decision that has been weighed carefully, outcomes considered, and the responsibilities that go with the commitment.

All too often we commit to something without truly considering the implications. Once the full consequences of the commitment are revealed, we then retreat and often end up breaking our commitment.

When we start taking our commitments more seriously, as something sacred, we may not get into them so easily, and when we do, our word is our bond and we fully live up to it.

If we find we are having a hard time living up to all of our commitments, that is the time to examine how we enter into our commitments, and whether we are truly reflecting on what it mean to make a commitment in the first place.

We can all do better around our commitments if we just take our time before entering them, really reflect upon them, and only commit when it is in alignment with our heart and our spirit.

20170822

Control in our lives is something we often strive for, yet in fact it is not attainable.

We think we can control our circumstances, in reality we cannot.

We think we can control other people, in reality we never can.

We think we can control the environment, in reality the environment is much greater and grander than we can imagine.

When it all comes down to it, the only thing we can control is our responses to what life brings and the choices we make.

And in the end, that is the most important control we can have.

20170817

Cleaning House is about much more than just straightening up our living environment.

How we take care of our home, the place we sleep at night and the location of our possessions, is a reflection of something much deeper.

Of course, we “clean house” with much more than our home. We can clean house with our mailing list, our Facebook friends, our desk at the office, and just about anything that accumulates items over time.

So what does it really mean when we Clean House?

It’s actually about our identity, how we see ourselves, and how we feel about ourselves and our life.

Cleaning up and straightening out our environment is symbolic for cleaning up our life, our self-image, our hopes and dreams.

If our home is a chaotic place, chances are our life is chaotic. If our home is messy, chances are our life is messy. If our home is sparkling clean with everything perfectly in it’s place, chances our are life is just as clean and rigid.

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or lost? Trying cleaning up your home, one corner at a time, and see how much better you feel by the time you finish.

After all, we all deserve a home, a life, that supports our vision and our dreams.

20170808

Grief is a part of life.

We grieve when we lose someone. We grieve when when we lose something that is dear to us. It is normal to grieve.

Grief and death are not normally spoken about until we do lose someone. That is something we can change.

We have a tendency to ignore one of the most important aspects of life, the fact that it will one day end. It is as if by ignoring it we feel that we won’t have to deal with it when it does come.

That strategy never really works so well. The time to talk about death and loss is before it happens. To prepare ourselves for that eventuality only serves us to help to deal with it when that day comes.

Death does not have to be feared. Indeed, according to the laws of thermodynamics, energy cannot be created nor destroyed, it merely changes state.

That is what death is, a change of state. The person may be with us physically anymore, yet they can still live on in our hearts, in our memories, and in our spirit.

How we choose to honor them after they pass is up to us. The fact that one day we will all leave this physical existence, no matter how long we extend it, is not.

So let’s learn to celebrate and honor it before it comes knocking on our door.

20170713

When we seek retribution, we may find satisfaction, but we rarely find peace.

When we seek vengeance, we might find justice, but we rarely find healing.

When we seek to tear down another to build up ourselves, we are building on sand and our house will surely fall.

There is only one right way to heal an injury from another. That is to find the wholeness within ourselves that was never injured, and return to it.

When we seek to hurt another, we not only hurt them, we hurt ourselves. And we hurt ourselves far more than we can ever hurt another.

Has someone done wrong by you? Start by forgiving yourself for being involved, take better care of yourself, and examine what within you is holding that energy active. There is always some kind of energetic pattern that created the situation to begin with.

This is not to say that you should keep the person who wronged you in your life, of course not. Yet that is exactly what we do when we seek retribution, vengeance or harm upon another.

Making peace with ourselves is a far more effective way to find the healing and wholeness that we truly seek.

20170706

Learning to trust yourself takes time, patience and perseverance.

Mostly, that is because from the time we are young we are taught not to trust ourselves.

We are taught instead to trust our parents, our teachers, our peer group, just about everyone else except ourselves.

We learn to put our faith in our religious or political leaders because, after all, they know better than we do what’s best for us.

This learned behavior is not only dis-empowering, it is dangerous to our well-being.

When we ignore our common sense, when we put down our intuition, when we place our fate into the hands of some guru rather than trusting our own bodies, tragedy can follow.

When that tragedy occurs, we blame the guru, and that dis-empowers us even more.

Instead of blame, let us learn to be curious and find the lesson in it.

Instead of giving away our power, let us make our own decisions, for better or worse, and learn from the outcome.

This is our life! Let’s start living it like we mean it. Ultimately, we are all responsible for our choices and their outcomes, and because of that we are empowered by each one.

20170627

Acceptance of that which we do not like to see comes first.

After acceptance, after recognizing how that thing we have such a distaste for is actually inside of us, comes love.

Getting there may not be easy, yet it is the only path towards wholeness.

When we can accept the tyrant within us, the predator, the cheat, the liar and the thief within, then we can accept those around us who embody those very same qualities.

Some call it the Shadow, some the dark side, yet no matter what the label, it is all us. It is in the world because it is inside of us.

Coming to that realization takes courage, forgiveness and self-love.

It is only when we can embrace it within us, admit it, shine our light on it, and still love ourselves that we will heal it in our world.

As long as we separate ourselves from it, cut ourselves off from it, it will continue to show up and be that thorn that no one can remove. We can only remove it ourselves.

It is up to us, not anyone else, to heal this within us. No one can do it for us, they can only do it for themselves.

So let us this day love a little more, forgive a little more, support and help others a little more, not from a place of guilt but from a place of love.

20170608

Just because we know our failings, our weaknesses, does not always mean we avoid them.

We may know that we are not good with money, relationships, or commitments, yet that knowledge does not always help us from avoiding the missteps we make in those arenas.

Yes, as we bring more awareness and consciousness into those areas, we can begin to change our behaviors and create new patterns. And still it should not surprise us that we still over-pay sometimes, or that we are attracted to the wrong kind of person for us.

Awareness of the issue is key. Awareness brings understanding and engages the mind to work differently. Yet when we engage the heart and body, then we rewire and recreate new patterns in our lives.

Building new muscle takes time and repetition. It takes resistance and training. This is true whether it is for physical muscle or emotional/energetic muscle.

The process can be short or long, so having compassion and patience will aid us tremendously. Getting things right the first time is not as important as getting it in our system, fully, deeply, and making it our new reality.