We see things in life all the time that we are sure are real.
How someone says something to us, and the meaning behind it, are clear to us.
Our memories are filled with moments that we are certain happened a specific way.
All these life experiences actually happened, yet they are filled with our own projects.
What our friend did is because they don’t like us.
What our partner said is because they’re mad at us.
The Why our parent acted is because they are not proud of us.
We constantly think we know what is going on inside someone else’s mind.
Yet what we are doing is projecting our own feelings and our own interpretations onto our experience.
Perhaps our friend was just in a rush and forgot to be polite.
Perhaps our partner got some bad news we don’t know about and they are mad about it.
Perhaps our parents just learned that a friend of theirs died and they’re upset over it.
How we interpret the world around us has less to do with the actual events and more about how we feel about ourselves.
Do we feel deep inside that we’re not good enough? Do the things we experience make us feel less than?
Do we feel that there’s something wrong with us? Do our relationships trigger those feelings?
Do we feel that we don’t deserve good things? Do we often feel the other person is taking advantage of us?
It’s not so cut and dry.
Our perspective and our self-image have a lot to do with it.
Perhaps when we get triggered we can use it as an opportunity to look inside instead of outside.
Perhaps when we feel someone is against us we can check in and see if we are battling with ourselves.
Perhaps instead of assuming it’s always about the other person, we can take a step back and look for how we might be projecting something onto them.
Maybe we will find it is…
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant