To Create A Kinder World We Only Have To Be Kinder Ourselves

We all crave to live in a more friendly and compassionate world.

We want to feel safe to live and be who we are.

We long for the feeling of community and camaraderie.

So it is important to look at what we are doing to create that kind of world.

Are we being friendlier to others?

Are we expressing our compassion for others, even complete strangers?

Do we engage in rituals and activities that engender the feeling of community?

It is time to stop waiting for others to change, and to make the change ourselves.

If we desire to see a world that is more gentle and kind, then it is time for us to be more gentle and kind.

Be the change you want to see in the world” is not just a pretty slogan, it is the way to live.

The power is in our hands, we can and do make a difference every day.

We make a difference by being nice when someone else is in a rush and not being mindful.

We make a difference by being soft when others are being hard.

We make a difference by showing our kindness to those in need.

We make a difference with our presence, our words, and our actions.

Even one small step goes a long way to creating a friendlier world.

What can you contribute to a kinder, gentler planet?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

When We Stop Being Defensive We Can Truly Open Our Hearts To Others

Whenever we have a difficult time with someone else, we naturally start defending ourselves.

We think the other person is attacking us, and we must defend our position or our opinion.

The argument with our coworker or our sibling turns into an offensive on our very being.

So what do we do?

We close out hearts and we go into our heads.

We start analyzing and rationalizing why we are right and they are wrong.

We create all kinds of stories around the incident that make us feel better about ourselves and feel not so good about the other person.

And where does that lead us?

To more hard feelings and a breakdown in communication.

All because we think it is all about us.

There is another way.

If when we are in the middle of the disagreement we keep our hearts open and realize that it is not about us but about the other person, then we can be more compassionate.

We can ask them what’s wrong and listen.

We can hear and feel what’s going on with them instead of putting up a wall.

We can be present with them and see where it takes us.

And we may just find out that is not about us at all.

It’s about the hard time they are dealing with at home, at the office, or in some other aspect of their life.

Suddenly we have evidence that it really wasn’t about us, or the subject of the discussion, it is about them and the difficulties they are going through.

Yet we would never get to that point if we did not give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and assume there is something else going on.

When we stop defending ourselves and assuming that the other person is against us we can transform the situation.

Being present and feeling the pain the other person is in not only helps us to feel better about ourselves, it helps diffuse the tension and energy of the situation and brings healing to everyone involved.

Isn’t that worth the effort to keep our hearts open?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Trusting Ourselves Is The Great Gift We Can Give The World

Trusting ourselves may be one of the hardest things to learn.

It is hard not because we are untrustworthy.

It is hard because of how we have interpreted our experiences throughout our life.

It is very common for us to feel that bad things happened to us because it was our fault.

We must have done something wrong for that bully to beat us up.

We must be wrong for wanting the things that we need as children yet didn’t receive.

There must be something really wrong with us for us to experience all that pain we felt.

We turn all the blame inwards not knowing how else to understand the world around us.

Yet as we unravel the traumas we experienced when we were young, we can begin to see that it was not our fault.

We are not to blame for other people doing bad things to us.

We are not to blame for losing people close to us.

We are not to blame for desiring to have our emotional and physical needs met.

Indeed, all it means is that we are human.

And if we are not to blame for how the world is around us, then we can trust ourselves more.

We can change the story around those experiences and learn that we are basically okay.

Our presence is a gift to others.

Our contributions are valuable.

Our point of view does matter.

And ultimately, there is no blame to go around, there is only the experience of life.

The magic is that once we start to truly trust ourselves, life will give us more reasons to do so.

The more we trust ourselves, the more we can trust ourselves.

And as we practice trusting ourselves, we can inspire others to trust themselves as well.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Sign Of True Evolution Is Accepting Our Family Without Judgment

As adults, our families are our biggest teachers.

Our family knows us better than anyone else.

Our family can trigger us in ways no one else can.

The way our family judges us means more to us than anyone else.

Yet how we choose to show up in the midst of all of that says more about us than any other situation.

It is a great opportunity to put our practices and our patience to work.

When those closest to us push our buttons, how we respond shows our maturity.

Who we are as individuals is revealed by our actions in these most trying situations.

We can forgive our friends and our co-workers for behavior that annoys us.

Can we do the same for our family?

Our family may still treat us as if we are 10 years old. Can we respond as if we are no longer 10 years old?

We stress over how our parents or our relatives act. We would prefer they change.

Can we learn to accept them exactly the way they are?

Can we be with our family without judgment even when they judge us?

Can we be kind to them even when they are not kind to us?

Can we be patient with them if when they are not patient with us?

The sign of our true evolution is when we can face those that we know better than anyone else on the planet, and still accept them without judgment and with love.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Ritual Is A Powerful Tool For Supporting Our Deepest Work

In this modern age of technology and science, we have a tendency to dismiss the idea of ritual.

We think it is something outdated and for the superstitious.

Ritual appears to be old-fashioned and irrelevant today.

Yet nothing can be further from the truth.

Ritual creates an energy that feeds and uplifts.

Ritual is built on decades or centuries of practice that support all who engage in it.

Ritual lets us know that we are doing something special and changes our state of mind.

Without Ritual our efforts meet more resistance and require more energy.

With Ritual we energetically know that there is something more than what we see around us supporting us.

We can always create our own rituals, that have deep, personal meaning to them.

We can incorporate aspects of other’s rituals that we resonate with without having to copy it word for word.

Yet still, the power of Ritual is inherent in its very nature.

The more we repeat it, the more we engage in it, the more energy and the more power is behind it.

The more we put into it, the more we get out of it.

That is something we can use in all of our lives.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Intuition May Not Be Perfect – Yet When We Use It Amazing Things Happen

Our intuition may not be perfect.

Our hunches may not work out all the time.

Sometimes, we follow them and we make obvious mistakes in hindsight.

Yet our intuition guides us more accurately than our logic.

Why?

Because following our intuition, once we’ve practiced following it, just feels better.

Yes, it sometimes means ignoring the facts.

Yes, it sometimes means not being able to explain ourselves.

Yes, it sometimes even feels foolish in the face of other people’s logical arguments.

Yet when we follow the feeling we receive from our intuition, it just feels right.

It feels right in our bodies because we are learning to trust our body’s intelligence.

We have been taught to value the mind’s intelligence above all else.

This makes trusting our bodies more difficult.

Yet when we do, amazing things happen.

That person we felt wasn’t quite trustworthy, turns out to actually not be trustworthy.

That opportunity we took a chance on because it felt right, ended up paying off big time.

That relationship we were stuck in and didn’t feel right finally ends so we can meet our life partner.

Our intuition is right far more than it is wrong.

We just have to learn to trust it and use it more, like any muscle in the body.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Expectations Exist In The Future – Reality Exists In The Now

We all have expectations.

We expect our relationships to go one way and our careers to go another.

We expect our friends to treat us a certain way and our family to treat us another way.

All these expectations and more lead us down a path to one thing – pain.

Why do expectations almost always lead us to pain?

Because our expectations are rarely met, or if they are met, they are met not in the way we desire.

Another reason why expectations lead to pain is that they take our out of the moment, out of the now.

To be truly present at any given moment is to be beyond expectations.

Expectations exist in the future. Reality exists in the now.

When we are present with our friends, there is no judgment.

When we are present with any given task, there is no right or wrong.

In the present moment, there is only what is in front of us.

Our fears often take us out of the given moment, as do our hopes.

Our mind is rarely, if ever present.

Our bodies always are present.

To pay attention to our bodies is to be more present than paying attention to our minds.

To get out of the trap of expectations, perhaps we just need to be a little present to the moment.

In the present moment, everything is perfect.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Discernment Is Not About Figuring It Out – Its About Feeling It Out

Most people think discernment is about figuring out the right choice.

We use our logic minds to weigh all the pros and cons to come up with what we think is the best choice.

Yet discernment is about much more than making a rational decision.

Discernment is about how we feel about a given situation.

 Often, we may find that there is not enough evidence to go in a particular direction.

Perhaps, we’ve just met someone for the first time and we think they should be a good person.

Maybe because other people have said good things about them.

Yet our impression, for no good reason, is that they are not trust-worthy.

Something just doesn’t feel right.

When we shake their hand, we get a chill.

Then, we second guess ourselves.

We start telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be judgmental and we should give the person a chance.

So we do. And what happens?

They turn out to be the creep we felt they were, yet had no evidence of it.

Discernment is listening to feeling, that intuitive understanding that something is off.

We don’t have to know what is off, just that something feels off.

Sometimes it can as subtle as an inflection in their voice.

Or a look in their eye.

Or maybe it’s just an energetic hunch.

Trusting those feelings goes a long way to having discernment.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Trust Is Not About Thinking Trust Is About Feeling Our Way Through

One of the hardest things for us to do is trust ourselves.

We believe that we are not trust-worthy based on our history.

We feel that given the chance we will make the same mistakes again.

Yet, most of the time, when we look back the mistakes we made came from not truly trusting ourselves.

Something went wrong, and we think it’s our fault.

If we really focus on the details, most of the time we will find that something didn’t feel right, yet we still went forward because the was no hard evidence.

That’s where we didn’t trust ourselves.

We didn’t trust the signals that were coming from our bodies.

We didn’t trust our intuition.

We didn’t trust that life was signaling us the best way it could at the time.

We trusted our minds over everything else, and it didn’t turn out the way we expected.

Trust is not about thinking our way through something.

Trust is about noticing our feelings and believing without any other evidence, those feelings are true.

Our brains are actually lousy decision-making devices.

They are great for recording and measuring things.

Our bodies, our gut, our intuitive sense of life, is much better at feeling the way through to the right choice.

We are very trust-worthy when we use all that life has given us.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Monsters Are Here To Protect Our Innocence

We all have monsters within us.

We are taught to shun our monsters and keep them hidden.

This is because most people don’t really understand why the monsters are here.

By suppressing our monsters we allow them to fester in the unconscious.

And they will not stay there.

In time, all of our monsters come out.

Sometimes in positive ways, many times in damaging ways.

What we don’t understand is that our monsters are here to protect our innocence.

They are here because our inner child cannot deal with some harsh reality.

Perhaps it is some form of physical pain or emotional trauma that is too difficult to accept.

Perhaps it comes from the loss of a parent or person close to us.

Whatever the reason for the appearance of our monster, it is not here to destroy us.

It is here to help us. To protect us. To serve us.

Yet we have to mature and learn when we are ready to release our monsters.

Yes, they served us well and kept us from the pain.

Yet as we grow and face our pain, our monsters are no longer necessary.

We are no longer dependent on our monsters.

We can see them for what they are, be grateful to them for their service, and allow them to be integrated into our lives.

Our monsters are a part of us, yet they do not have rule over us.

When we are open to our monster’s messages, we can learn quite a lot about ourselves.

Our monsters are not that bad after all…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant