If We Are Not Selfish We Cannot Take Care Of The Larger Whole

Why do we find it so difficult to ask for what we want?

Why do we fear the reactions we will receive when we do?

Is that label of being called Selfish so derogatory that we cannot even go near it?

Society often uses the term “Selfish” when an individual voices their need or desire.

Being Selfish is about being concerned for the Self.

Self-care is not only important, it is essential for our health and growth.

We cannot contribute to society without taking care of our selves first.

Being called “Selfish” is a form of control society uses to get individuals to do what Society wants.

It is all about placing Society’s needs above the individual’s needs.

The fallacy of that point of view is that if the individuals are not taken care of, they cannot take care of society.

So why should we fear being called Selfish?

Actually, it is a compliment.

It means we are strong enough and wise enough to consider our own needs first before we can consider others.

When we come from a place of strength, we are able to contribute more.

When we come from a place of strength, we are able to give from a deeper place.

When we come from a place of strength, we are able to truly give what someone needs most.

We can all learn something from being a little more Selfish.

It means opening our hearts to ourselves first, then we can open to others.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Feeling Our Feelings Is Healthier Than Shutting Them Off

Sometimes, it’s not comfortable to feel our feelings.

Sometimes, it’s downright depressing, frustrating, anxiety-provoking and maddening.

Sometimes, it’s uplifting, joyful, and wonderful.

Unfortunately, we don’t always get to choose.

When we decide to feel, we feel it all.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sure, when we’re stuck in the really ugly feelings, we’d rather just not be there.

We’d rather hide, or shut down.

We’d rather retreat behind concrete walls and shut off all of our feelings.

Yet, that does not serve us.

Granted, no one likes to marinate in the deep, dark depressing places that we sometimes go.

Sure, we would all like to feel happy, joyful, uplifted, and energetic all the time.

Yet, we are not built that way.

We are made to feel the full range of emotions.

Dozens of them.

From the highest to the lowest.

When we shut ourselves off from them, we often find trouble.

Perhaps not right away.

Yet over the long run, the unexpressed, unfelt feelings can cause lots of trouble.

From heart-ache to heartburn, and much worse.

It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, but it sure beats the alternative.

What are you feeling today?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

By Honoring Another’s Path We Come To Understand Our Own

The desire to help others comes naturally.

When we are connected to our tribe in a loving way, we want to see everyone do well.

Where we get in trouble is when we try to protect people from their own path.

We cannot stop someone else from making their own choices.

We cannot keep people from the consequences of their own actions.

And we certainly cannot prevent people from feeling their own emotions.

Indeed, the more we judge someone else’s path, the more trouble we cause for ourselves.

The more we resist what is, and how others are, the more we suffer.

Our judgments cause ourselves pain.

Our opinions on how someone else’s life is unfolding only keeps us from being present with them.

We may not agree with their choices.

We do not have to accept their actions as ones we would take in their shoes.

Yet the more we honor their own decisions, the more we honor ourselves.

The more we accept life as it is, the more we can be at peace.

We cannot control the entire universe.

We cannot control even one other person’s path.

We can only live our own life and accept how others have chosen to live theirs.

We don’t have to agree with it.

Yet, if we live as an example of how others can live, perhaps one day they will notice.

Perhaps one day they will ask for our help and be open to receive it.

Before that time comes, there is no opening for us.

It is only by honoring a person’s path that we come to understand our own path more clearly.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Boldness Builds A Life Free From Fear And Regret

There are many fears in life that bother us.

There’s the fear of being alone.

There’s the fear of loss of a loved one.

There’s the fear of lack of resources.

There are many little fears we live with every day.

The fear of pain.

The fear of missing out.

The fear of being last.

All these fears, when taken to the extreme, are ultimately one big fear.

The fear of death.

The fear of the unknown that lies beyond that singular point at the end of life.

We fear to be alone because in the jungle it can mean death.

We fear to be without resources for that can lead to death as well.

We fear losing others because that only reminds us of our own mortality.

Yes, a healthy fear of death can help us to stay alive.

Yet when our fears become unhealthy and run our lives instead of our passions, we become paralyzed.

To overcome our fear of death is not natural.

To override that most basic instinct takes a lot of internal work.

Yet the more we learn to overcome the small fears, the more we eat away at the big fear.

The surest way to get past our fear of death is to live life fully.

To live with the reminder that every day could be our last.

To live life in bold, outrageous fashion.

Moderation is for monks.

Meekness is for puppies.

Fate favors the bold and being bold diminishes regret.

How can we be bolder in our own lives?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Attitudes About Transformation Affect How We Transform

Sometimes transformation is a sudden, jarring, experience.

Sometimes the transformation is a slow, plodding along, experience.

And sometimes, transformation is so minute, so small, that we didn’t even notice it happened.

Almost more important than the event itself is our relationship to it.

Are we anticipating it with impatience and restlessness?

Are we sitting back and just waiting for it to happen to us without our involvement?

Are we so confident it is happening that we don’t even give it a thought and just keep doing what we’re doing?

Transformation takes on many forms and many appearances.

It can be like the caterpillar going inside its cocoon.

It can be like a snake shedding its skin.

Or it can be like a sudden break-up in a relationship.

We are transforming all the time.

We are growing and changing every day.

We are always in the middle of our transformation, which may be why we don’t notice it.

Our attitudes and preconceptions around transformation will color how we transform.

It is common to expect that over-night, instantaneous transformation will happen.

Yet it is more common that the transformation happens little by little, one step at a time, over a long period of time.

What do you expect about your own transformation?

Will it be sudden or slow?

Either way, you’re right.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Kinder We Are With Ourselves The Easier It Is To Take Responsibility

How do we take responsibility for our actions?

How do we show up when we’ve made a mistake or done something we thought better of afterward?

Do we justify and throw blame on to others?

Or do we go beyond the idea of blame and merely make right what we have done?

All too often in this society, we find that people fear to take responsibility for their actions and words.

We see how people deny or change what happened out of fear.

Fear drives us to hide from the consequences of our deeds.

We fear how others will respond and react to what we have said or done.

We fear it not because of what others may do.

We fear it because of our own judgments about ourselves.

We fear it because we are being too hard on ourselves, and secretly we are condemning ourselves long before anyone else knows what happened.

This is because we are always our own worst critic, our own worst detractor.

We are far harsher on ourselves than anyone else can ever be.

Our fears are not about what others may do.

Our fears are about merely being exposed and being seen for what we have done.

We fear being human.

We fear making mistakes.

Yet when we allow ourselves to be human and make mistakes, we allow others to do the same.

When we become more compassionate for ourselves, we can be more compassionate for others.

And when we all soften into compassion for being human, there is no reason to be afraid to take responsibility.

We are all guilty, so let’s be more kind to ourselves and to everyone else.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Quality Of Our Lives Is Determined By The Quality Of The Questions We Ask

How often do we listen to the questions we ask ourselves in our heads?

How often do we ask ourselves questions that cannot be answered?

How does it affect how we feel about ourselves and our lives?

When we start to become more conscious and mindful we start to observe ourselves more.

We start to notice little things, such as how we ask such things as “Why does this always happen to me?”

We can look at this and see that questions like this are not helpful to ask ourselves.

For when we ask ourselves any question, it feeds the unconscious mind which then goes to work finding the answers to our questions.

This is a very powerful form of programming that we do to ourselves.

Yet when we ask questions that will inevitably lead to negative answers, it disempowers us.

The solution is to ask more empowering questions that actually serves us.

Questions such as “How can this serve me?” or “How can I have fun with this?” point our minds in a direction that creates a better life for ourselves.

In general, Why questions do not serve us.

How and What questions are usually much more constructive.

So as we notice ourselves asking questions that do not serve us, we can learn to re-frame them into questions that move us forward.

“How does this help me?”

“What can I do to improve this situation?”

“Where can I find more resources to help me with this challenge?”

These are all good questions that move us closer to an answer that actually helps us to find real solutions to the things we face in life.

As we become more adept at asking high-quality questions, the quality of our life improves.

What high-quality questions can you start asking yourself today?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We All Contribute Our Talents And Skills In Our Own Unique Way

We often do not recognize our true gifts.

The things we are good at just come naturally to us.

We don’t think they are a big deal.

Yet when we ask someone else what they think our gifts are, we are quite often surprised by their answer.

We are surprised not because we didn’t know it.

We are surprised because we didn’t value it the way they did.

To us, that talent or gift is just part of who we are.

We’ve always had it.

We use it effortlessly.

It is just not something special to us.

Yet to someone on the outside, it is an amazing talent.

To our friends and our clients, it seems like we have some incredible skill that they feel they could never develop.

And to us, what they can do is beyond us.

We always value what someone else can do much higher than we value our own skills.

Precisely because they can do it and we can’t.

And if we bring in a third person, they will be shocked at what both of us can do.

So if not so much about what we can or can not do.

It is about valuing our own innate talents and skills on par with other people’s innate talents and skills.

We all contribute in our own unique way.

We all can something that makes the world a better place to be.

Let’s learn to value all our contributions for what they are, and stop placing others, or ourselves, above anyone else.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

It Is Gratitude That Makes The Holiday Season A Joyful Time

The Holiday Season is not about giving gifts.

It’s not about getting together with family.

It’s not about reviewing the past year.

In fact, the holidays are not about any of the things we usually associate with them.

The holidays are about remembering to be grateful.

To be grateful for Life.

To be grateful for our community.

To be grateful for our experiences.

To be grateful for it all, the struggles and the joys.

For when we learn to be grateful for all of life, life becomes much easier to live.

Gratitude lights our hearts and spirits.

Gratitude is the grease that oils the wheels of our relationships.

Gratitude is the energy that gives us the strength to be generous.

So it is gratitude that makes the family gatherings more pleasant.

It is gratitude that makes the gift giving more fun.

It is gratitude that makes reviewing our past year a joyful endeavor.

It is gratitude that makes looking forward to next year so palatable.

We are grateful for all of you who make this time of year special for us.

With all our hearts, we say “Thank You!”

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

To Create A Kinder World We Only Have To Be Kinder Ourselves

We all crave to live in a more friendly and compassionate world.

We want to feel safe to live and be who we are.

We long for the feeling of community and camaraderie.

So it is important to look at what we are doing to create that kind of world.

Are we being friendlier to others?

Are we expressing our compassion for others, even complete strangers?

Do we engage in rituals and activities that engender the feeling of community?

It is time to stop waiting for others to change, and to make the change ourselves.

If we desire to see a world that is more gentle and kind, then it is time for us to be more gentle and kind.

Be the change you want to see in the world” is not just a pretty slogan, it is the way to live.

The power is in our hands, we can and do make a difference every day.

We make a difference by being nice when someone else is in a rush and not being mindful.

We make a difference by being soft when others are being hard.

We make a difference by showing our kindness to those in need.

We make a difference with our presence, our words, and our actions.

Even one small step goes a long way to creating a friendlier world.

What can you contribute to a kinder, gentler planet?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant