How We Feel About Life Is About The Projections We Send Out

We see things in life all the time that we are sure are real.

How someone says something to us, and the meaning behind it, are clear to us.

Our memories are filled with moments that we are certain happened a specific way.

All these life experiences actually happened, yet they are filled with our own projects.

What our friend did is because they don’t like us.

What our partner said is because they’re mad at us.

The Why our parent acted is because they are not proud of us.

We constantly think we know what is going on inside someone else’s mind.

Yet what we are doing is projecting our own feelings and our own interpretations onto our experience.

Perhaps our friend was just in a rush and forgot to be polite.

Perhaps our partner got some bad news we don’t know about and they are mad about it.

Perhaps our parents just learned that a friend of theirs died and they’re upset over it.

How we interpret the world around us has less to do with the actual events and more about how we feel about ourselves.

Do we feel deep inside that we’re not good enough? Do the things we experience make us feel less than?

Do we feel that there’s something wrong with us? Do our relationships trigger those feelings?

Do we feel that we don’t deserve good things? Do we often feel the other person is taking advantage of us?

It’s not so cut and dry.

Our perspective and our self-image have a lot to do with it.

Perhaps when we get triggered we can use it as an opportunity to look inside instead of outside.

Perhaps when we feel someone is against us we can check in and see if we are battling with ourselves.

Perhaps instead of assuming it’s always about the other person, we can take a step back and look for how we might be projecting something onto them.

Maybe we will find it is…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Feeling Safe Is Essential For Us To Heal, Grow, And Be Authentic

Feeling safe is more important than we think.

Feeling safe is about more than our environment.

Feeling safe involved more than just the people we’re surrounded by.

Feeling safe is essential for us to heal, grow, and be authentic.

As human beings we get traumatized by many things.

Our nervous systems respond to all sorts of stimuli.

Someone yelling at us on the phone can be traumatic and make us feel unsafe.

A person’s energy when they walk into the elevator with us can make us feel unsafe.

A dark and deserted place can make use feel unsafe as well.

What triggers one person may not be what triggers someone else.

As individuals, we all come to life with different associations and different experiences.

Do we really know when we make someone else feel unsafe?

Are we aware of what we do for others that does make them feel safe?

Without feeling safe we cannot relax.

Without feeling safe we cannot allow ourselves to show how we really feel inside.

Without feeling safe we cannot begin or engage in any kind of healing.

What we often overlook is that we first have to feel safe with ourselves, before we can feel safe with anyone else.

Sometimes, we don’t even consider what situations we need to be in to feel safe.

Do we feel safe with our families?

Do we feel safe with our friends?

Do we feel safe in our work environment?

What is the solution when we don’t feel safe?

Change where we are. Change who we are with. Change what we are experiencing.

When we find a moment’s peace, then we can begin to analyze what we need to feel safe.

When we are alone, and present to ourselves, then we can feel our bodies and see where there is tension or concern.

Knowing what we need to feel safe is important for us to create safety for others.

If we all keep in mind what it means to feel safe and to how to create safety around us, perhaps we can create a safer world.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We Create Our Lives Through Our Focus, Energy, and Decisions

Taking responsibility for our lives is not easy.

It means accepting that we create all the good stuff and all the bad stuff in our lives.

It means there is no one else to blame for our situation.

Yet it also means we are empowered to create something different.

Often, we fall into the trap of making excuses and blaming others for where we are in life.

We are where we are because of our parents, our teachers, our coaches, our bosses, or our lovers.

We are sad or angry or upset because of what someone else has done.

We cannot do what we truly want because of our responsibilities to others.

Yet, who agreed to be in those situations to begin with?

How we came to our choices and decisions may go far back.

Perhaps a decision we made in school had far reaching effects on our lives.

At the time, we had no clue how that one little choice would send us in a totally different trajectory.

And step by step, we move towards one thing or away from another.

The energy we put into each situation has consequences and moves us further towards or away from what we want.

As days and weeks and months pass, we may even forget that original choice.

Years go by and instead of being in one place we are in a completely different place.

So who is say that it’s better or worse than someplace else?

Ultimately it is a place of our own making.

It is a place formulated by our own choices.

It is a situation that  arises from the energy we put out.

Yes, that means we are responsible for where we are.

Yes, that mean we have to take credit for all the bad as well as all the good around us.

Yes, that means we have created our lives to be exactly how they are at this moment.

The good news is that we can always learn to make different choices.

As long as we are still breathing, we have an opportunity to do something different.

The real question is, what are we going to do with this power?

What are we going to create next in our lives?

Who are we going to show up as and be next?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Trusting In Life Is About Believing In Ourselves

How deeply do we trust?

How well do we deal with the unknown?

How much change can we experience and still thrive?

Trust is not about blind faith.

Trust is about believing that ultimately the universe is compassionate.

Trust is about believing in ourselves and our abilities.

Trust is about knowing that one way or another, we will end up standing.

Life is rarely predictable.

Indeed, Life has become a constant flow of change in the world.

Some people resist change, and they tend to suffer because of it.

Some people are ambivalent to change, and they survive it.

Some people embrace change, and they thrive in it.

Real trust is about embracing the change.

Not just change in the economy or politics.

It’s about embracing the change in ourselves.

In who we have to become to face the unknown.

In our care for ourselves and those around us.

Our greatest challenge is letting go of our idea of our life, and embracing what Life brings to us as our actual life.

To see the beauty in the chaos.

To see the love in the midst of turmoil.

To see hope in the face of adversity.

We are magnificent being of creation.

When we true believe in our own power, we can trust is anything that Life has to offer us.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

To Go With The Flow Requires Our Trust and Surrender

To Go With The Flow is more difficult than we think.

It takes more than just doing nothing.

It takes more than just following the path in front of you.

It is about surrender.

It is about letting go of our expectations and allowing Life to unfold unfettered.

We all have ideas and expectations of how we want things to go.

We create plans and strategies for how to live our lives.

And then Life happens and we learn to adjust those plans.

Still we work on trying to get where we want to go, even when the signs all point towards something else.

We rush, we work harder, we work longer hours, and we do whatever it takes to get it done.

The one thing we don’t do is surrender to the moment.

To let go of our expectations.

To trust in Life and in what unfolds before us.

We think we know better.

We think we are wiser than the circumstances before us.

What will it take for us to just breath into it?

What will it take for us to drop our ideas and our preconceptions?

What will it take to release our judgments of what should and shouldn’t be?

When will we begin to see the Universe as being perfect, just the way it is?

When will we accept tat we really don’t have the perspective to judge the events before us as good or bad?

When we finally do, then we can Go With The Flow.

Then we can trust and allow.

Then we can be present to whatever is taking place and be at peace.

Is that not what we are all seeking?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Standing Up For Ourselves Is Not Selfish It Is How We Meet Our Needs

For some of us, the lesson of standing up for ourselves is a big one.

We have been taught to be nice and not cause trouble.

We give in too easy to others or we do not ask for what we want or need.

There is a better way to show up.

We can stand up for ourselves without being belligerent.

We can stand up for ourselves and ask for what we need without getting emotional.

We can stand up for ourselves by simply saying no.

Standing up for ourselves does not mean we are being selfish.

It does not mean we are self-centered.

It only means that we value ourselves and our needs.

If we all learned to stand up for ourselves in a firm yet gentle manner, life would be clearer.

Boundaries would be more evident.

Desires would be more out in the open.

And when our desires do not match what the other is willing or able to give,  we can walk away without any hard feelings.

Expectations would be clear from the start.

Our positions at work and at home would be apparent.

And because all of these things would be more recognizable, we would actually receive more of what we need.

What kind of world would we be living in if that were the case?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Many Times Slowing Down Is The Fastest Way To Get To Where We Are Going

You see it everywhere.

People are rushing from one place to the next.

Rushing to get their project done.

Rushing to go home, go away, go get their coffee.

We rush because we think that’s the fastest way to get something done.

Yet when we rush all the time we miss things.

We miss the little details that make all the difference.

We miss the birds chirping as we walk to the train.

We miss the error in the program as we rush to finish the app.

We miss the look on our partner’s face as we rush out the door to get to work.

Sometimes, perhaps even most times, by slowing down we actually are going the fastest way.

By slowing down we can take in more.

By slowing down we can be more present.

By slowing down we can feel more of what is going on inside and outside of us.

When we take the time to really look at what is going on, either at work, at home, or anywhere in between, we can often find a better, simpler, more direct way to achieve what we are looking for.

It may be counter-intuitive, yet it still works.

Even taking the time to ask ourselves, “What am I trying to achieve?” can slow us down and help to remind us what it is we are really after.

Do we slow down enough to read the entire article?

Do we slow down enough to see the smile on our lover’s lips?

Do we slow down enough to see the potential hazard on the road?

Speed does not equal the shortest distance.

Taking our time is sometimes the fastest way to get where we are going.

Or perhaps it is just about recognizing that we are already there…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

By Appreciating More And Comparing Less We Enrich Our Lives

We spend a great deal of time comparing ourselves to others.

He’s so much taller than I am.

She looks so much thinner than I am.

They have a bigger house than we do.

These comparisons rarely bring us peace or joy.

Do you think she’s prettier than me?

He looks like he makes more money than I do.

Look at that new car, it must run so much better than ours.

Yes, it depends on which side of the equation we are on.

Yet even when we temporarily make ourselves feel better by comparing, in the long run, there’s always someone who has something nicer, bigger, or better than we do.

Do you think this restaurant is better than the other one?

Do you like this movie better than the one last year?

Is this book a better read than that one?

Especially when we compare two things that are not directly comparable, we set ourselves up for disagreement.

How about, they are both good in different ways?

How about, I enjoyed both equally for different reasons?

How about, For where I was at that time in my life it was perfect, and now that I’m at a different place, this is perfect instead?

 There are many factors that go into what is good/best/better at a specific time.

By comparing different things that all have something to contribute we diminish each one.

When we learn to see everything as having some value, each in it’s own unique way, we add to each one.

When we stop comparing and start seeing things in their own light, we can appreciate each one.

Yes, there are times when comparison can be useful.

Yet perhaps we can enrich our lives by appreciating more and comparing less.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

All Of Life Is Lived In The Present Moment

Living in the future is easy.

We all do it sometimes.

We look forward to some event or goal.

We allow it to consume our attention until that special day arrives.

Then the future is here.

We have made our goal or accomplishment.

Now what do we do?

We make another one!

Which is all fine and dandy, unless it keeps us from living in the present.

When we live in the present we can still march towards our goals.

Yet we become more aware of our steps.

We see more of our surroundings.

We feel more of the wind on our face.

When we are truly being present to our lives we are engaged more fully.

We pay attention to the here and now and what is right before us.

When we live in the future we put off our enjoyment.

We delay our happiness.

We forgo our peace and live as if we are constantly running.

It is not an external running, but an internal running.

We are always longing for the next big thing.

The next shiny object.

The next promotion.

When we are present we are living our lives to the fullest.

We are happy, sad, joyful, terrified, anxious, and much more.

And we feel all of it.

We feel it deeply and in our whole body.

It can be scary and it can be exhilarating.

Mostly though, it is just what is feels like to be alive.

We can share our presence with those we love in a manner that truly serves.

And we can revel in the moments that make us feel amazing.

It is all here waiting for us.

In the present moment.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

It Is Only By Loving Where We Come From That We Can Truly Love Ourselves

Self-love appears to be difficult to achieve.

There are so many things about ourselves that seem to get in the way.

Everything from what we have been told since we where children to what we have experienced as adults.

There always seems to be more reasons not to love ourselves than to love ourselves.

Yet, we can achieve that peaceful place.

It does take work. It does take self-reflection.

Mostly, it takes the willingness to look at all sides of ourselves and love them.

It means not just loving who we are, it means loving where we come from.

That is often the toughest part.

Can we love our family?

Can we love our parents?

Regardless of our experience or our perceptions, if we can not love our parents, how can we love ourselves?

After all, our parents are a part of ourselves.

They live inside of us.

They are in our DNA.

Their imprint on us is a large part of who we are.

It may not be easy to do, especially when there is abuse and trauma involved.

Yet when we come to that point, that point of forgiveness and acceptance, we achieve great peace.

When we learn to love the unlovable, we have truly learn to love ourselves.

Yes, it is a process.

Yes, it takes time.

Yes, it often takes guidance and support from other people.

Yet when we arrive, regardless of how much effort or struggle it took, we find it more than worth it.

Are you ready to begin your journey of self-love and self-acceptance?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant