How We Feel About Life Is About The Projections We Send Out

We see things in life all the time that we are sure are real.

How someone says something to us, and the meaning behind it, are clear to us.

Our memories are filled with moments that we are certain happened a specific way.

All these life experiences actually happened, yet they are filled with our own projects.

What our friend did is because they don’t like us.

What our partner said is because they’re mad at us.

The Why our parent acted is because they are not proud of us.

We constantly think we know what is going on inside someone else’s mind.

Yet what we are doing is projecting our own feelings and our own interpretations onto our experience.

Perhaps our friend was just in a rush and forgot to be polite.

Perhaps our partner got some bad news we don’t know about and they are mad about it.

Perhaps our parents just learned that a friend of theirs died and they’re upset over it.

How we interpret the world around us has less to do with the actual events and more about how we feel about ourselves.

Do we feel deep inside that we’re not good enough? Do the things we experience make us feel less than?

Do we feel that there’s something wrong with us? Do our relationships trigger those feelings?

Do we feel that we don’t deserve good things? Do we often feel the other person is taking advantage of us?

It’s not so cut and dry.

Our perspective and our self-image have a lot to do with it.

Perhaps when we get triggered we can use it as an opportunity to look inside instead of outside.

Perhaps when we feel someone is against us we can check in and see if we are battling with ourselves.

Perhaps instead of assuming it’s always about the other person, we can take a step back and look for how we might be projecting something onto them.

Maybe we will find it is…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

By Appreciating More And Comparing Less We Enrich Our Lives

We spend a great deal of time comparing ourselves to others.

He’s so much taller than I am.

She looks so much thinner than I am.

They have a bigger house than we do.

These comparisons rarely bring us peace or joy.

Do you think she’s prettier than me?

He looks like he makes more money than I do.

Look at that new car, it must run so much better than ours.

Yes, it depends on which side of the equation we are on.

Yet even when we temporarily make ourselves feel better by comparing, in the long run, there’s always someone who has something nicer, bigger, or better than we do.

Do you think this restaurant is better than the other one?

Do you like this movie better than the one last year?

Is this book a better read than that one?

Especially when we compare two things that are not directly comparable, we set ourselves up for disagreement.

How about, they are both good in different ways?

How about, I enjoyed both equally for different reasons?

How about, For where I was at that time in my life it was perfect, and now that I’m at a different place, this is perfect instead?

 There are many factors that go into what is good/best/better at a specific time.

By comparing different things that all have something to contribute we diminish each one.

When we learn to see everything as having some value, each in it’s own unique way, we add to each one.

When we stop comparing and start seeing things in their own light, we can appreciate each one.

Yes, there are times when comparison can be useful.

Yet perhaps we can enrich our lives by appreciating more and comparing less.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

All Of Life Is Lived In The Present Moment

Living in the future is easy.

We all do it sometimes.

We look forward to some event or goal.

We allow it to consume our attention until that special day arrives.

Then the future is here.

We have made our goal or accomplishment.

Now what do we do?

We make another one!

Which is all fine and dandy, unless it keeps us from living in the present.

When we live in the present we can still march towards our goals.

Yet we become more aware of our steps.

We see more of our surroundings.

We feel more of the wind on our face.

When we are truly being present to our lives we are engaged more fully.

We pay attention to the here and now and what is right before us.

When we live in the future we put off our enjoyment.

We delay our happiness.

We forgo our peace and live as if we are constantly running.

It is not an external running, but an internal running.

We are always longing for the next big thing.

The next shiny object.

The next promotion.

When we are present we are living our lives to the fullest.

We are happy, sad, joyful, terrified, anxious, and much more.

And we feel all of it.

We feel it deeply and in our whole body.

It can be scary and it can be exhilarating.

Mostly though, it is just what is feels like to be alive.

We can share our presence with those we love in a manner that truly serves.

And we can revel in the moments that make us feel amazing.

It is all here waiting for us.

In the present moment.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

It Is Only By Loving Where We Come From That We Can Truly Love Ourselves

Self-love appears to be difficult to achieve.

There are so many things about ourselves that seem to get in the way.

Everything from what we have been told since we where children to what we have experienced as adults.

There always seems to be more reasons not to love ourselves than to love ourselves.

Yet, we can achieve that peaceful place.

It does take work. It does take self-reflection.

Mostly, it takes the willingness to look at all sides of ourselves and love them.

It means not just loving who we are, it means loving where we come from.

That is often the toughest part.

Can we love our family?

Can we love our parents?

Regardless of our experience or our perceptions, if we can not love our parents, how can we love ourselves?

After all, our parents are a part of ourselves.

They live inside of us.

They are in our DNA.

Their imprint on us is a large part of who we are.

It may not be easy to do, especially when there is abuse and trauma involved.

Yet when we come to that point, that point of forgiveness and acceptance, we achieve great peace.

When we learn to love the unlovable, we have truly learn to love ourselves.

Yes, it is a process.

Yes, it takes time.

Yes, it often takes guidance and support from other people.

Yet when we arrive, regardless of how much effort or struggle it took, we find it more than worth it.

Are you ready to begin your journey of self-love and self-acceptance?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Feeling Our Feelings Is Healthier Than Shutting Them Off

Sometimes, it’s not comfortable to feel our feelings.

Sometimes, it’s downright depressing, frustrating, anxiety-provoking and maddening.

Sometimes, it’s uplifting, joyful, and wonderful.

Unfortunately, we don’t always get to choose.

When we decide to feel, we feel it all.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sure, when we’re stuck in the really ugly feelings, we’d rather just not be there.

We’d rather hide, or shut down.

We’d rather retreat behind concrete walls and shut off all of our feelings.

Yet, that does not serve us.

Granted, no one likes to marinate in the deep, dark depressing places that we sometimes go.

Sure, we would all like to feel happy, joyful, uplifted, and energetic all the time.

Yet, we are not built that way.

We are made to feel the full range of emotions.

Dozens of them.

From the highest to the lowest.

When we shut ourselves off from them, we often find trouble.

Perhaps not right away.

Yet over the long run, the unexpressed, unfelt feelings can cause lots of trouble.

From heart-ache to heartburn, and much worse.

It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, but it sure beats the alternative.

What are you feeling today?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

There Is A Often A Huge Difference Between Perception And Truth

Our perceptions are tricky things.

We think we know what is going on, yet we only see it from our perspective.

That conversation we had with our partner or the event that happened in another part of the world, is open to our interpretation based on our perceptions.

In order to stay grounded, it is useful to ask ourselves a simple question.

Is that really true?

Is our perception or interpretation of a given situation actually true for other people and not just us?

If a third party, someone not involved emotionally in it, saw or heard what went on, would they have the same conclusion as we do?

What we often think of as an objective fact is rarely so.

The more we question our perceptions and our assumptions, the more we realize how much of our belief is opinion and not fact.

Is that really true?

Even our own thoughts are our interpretations.

That is true for us, and it is true for everyone else.

So it is useful to always double-check when we recognize there are assumptions present.

Is that really true?

The more that question becomes part of our daily practice, the more we can catch ourselves.

The more we catch other people’s assumptions.

The more we can be humble with our opinions.

The more we can connect with people on a deeper level.

Is that really true?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Releasing Control And Trusting More Allows Life To Surpass Our Imagination

We often get in trouble when we focus too much on control.

The desire for control comes from more than fear.

We look to control our circumstance, our environment, and our relationships because of something deeper.

It comes from a profound lack of trust.

A lack of trust in ourselves.

A lack of trust in the world.

A lack of trust in Life.

In our minds, we have good reasons for this lack of trust.

Yet if we look deep into our hearts, we want to trust more than anything else.

Making the effort to control everything in our lives is exhausting.

It also leaves little room for Life to bring us the unexpected.

While that may sound comforting to us, it is also quite limiting.

Life can surprise us with the most amazing adventures when we allow it to.

Giving up control is not about releasing our responsibilities in our lives.

It is about trusting ourselves deeply that we can handle and thrive in any situation Life brings us.

By trusting more and controlling less, we can allow amazing circumstances to develop.

We can allow others to contribute more and truly create team efforts.

We can lessen the stress in our lives and live more joyfully.

We can start to have a happier journey throughout our lives.

Yes, control can be very comforting.

Is it worth it?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Kinder We Are With Ourselves The Easier It Is To Take Responsibility

How do we take responsibility for our actions?

How do we show up when we’ve made a mistake or done something we thought better of afterward?

Do we justify and throw blame on to others?

Or do we go beyond the idea of blame and merely make right what we have done?

All too often in this society, we find that people fear to take responsibility for their actions and words.

We see how people deny or change what happened out of fear.

Fear drives us to hide from the consequences of our deeds.

We fear how others will respond and react to what we have said or done.

We fear it not because of what others may do.

We fear it because of our own judgments about ourselves.

We fear it because we are being too hard on ourselves, and secretly we are condemning ourselves long before anyone else knows what happened.

This is because we are always our own worst critic, our own worst detractor.

We are far harsher on ourselves than anyone else can ever be.

Our fears are not about what others may do.

Our fears are about merely being exposed and being seen for what we have done.

We fear being human.

We fear making mistakes.

Yet when we allow ourselves to be human and make mistakes, we allow others to do the same.

When we become more compassionate for ourselves, we can be more compassionate for others.

And when we all soften into compassion for being human, there is no reason to be afraid to take responsibility.

We are all guilty, so let’s be more kind to ourselves and to everyone else.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Trusting Ourselves Is The Great Gift We Can Give The World

Trusting ourselves may be one of the hardest things to learn.

It is hard not because we are untrustworthy.

It is hard because of how we have interpreted our experiences throughout our life.

It is very common for us to feel that bad things happened to us because it was our fault.

We must have done something wrong for that bully to beat us up.

We must be wrong for wanting the things that we need as children yet didn’t receive.

There must be something really wrong with us for us to experience all that pain we felt.

We turn all the blame inwards not knowing how else to understand the world around us.

Yet as we unravel the traumas we experienced when we were young, we can begin to see that it was not our fault.

We are not to blame for other people doing bad things to us.

We are not to blame for losing people close to us.

We are not to blame for desiring to have our emotional and physical needs met.

Indeed, all it means is that we are human.

And if we are not to blame for how the world is around us, then we can trust ourselves more.

We can change the story around those experiences and learn that we are basically okay.

Our presence is a gift to others.

Our contributions are valuable.

Our point of view does matter.

And ultimately, there is no blame to go around, there is only the experience of life.

The magic is that once we start to truly trust ourselves, life will give us more reasons to do so.

The more we trust ourselves, the more we can trust ourselves.

And as we practice trusting ourselves, we can inspire others to trust themselves as well.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Ritual Is A Powerful Tool For Supporting Our Deepest Work

In this modern age of technology and science, we have a tendency to dismiss the idea of ritual.

We think it is something outdated and for the superstitious.

Ritual appears to be old-fashioned and irrelevant today.

Yet nothing can be further from the truth.

Ritual creates an energy that feeds and uplifts.

Ritual is built on decades or centuries of practice that support all who engage in it.

Ritual lets us know that we are doing something special and changes our state of mind.

Without Ritual our efforts meet more resistance and require more energy.

With Ritual we energetically know that there is something more than what we see around us supporting us.

We can always create our own rituals, that have deep, personal meaning to them.

We can incorporate aspects of other’s rituals that we resonate with without having to copy it word for word.

Yet still, the power of Ritual is inherent in its very nature.

The more we repeat it, the more we engage in it, the more energy and the more power is behind it.

The more we put into it, the more we get out of it.

That is something we can use in all of our lives.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant