Feeling Our Feelings Is Healthier Than Shutting Them Off

Sometimes, it’s not comfortable to feel our feelings.

Sometimes, it’s downright depressing, frustrating, anxiety-provoking and maddening.

Sometimes, it’s uplifting, joyful, and wonderful.

Unfortunately, we don’t always get to choose.

When we decide to feel, we feel it all.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sure, when we’re stuck in the really ugly feelings, we’d rather just not be there.

We’d rather hide, or shut down.

We’d rather retreat behind concrete walls and shut off all of our feelings.

Yet, that does not serve us.

Granted, no one likes to marinate in the deep, dark depressing places that we sometimes go.

Sure, we would all like to feel happy, joyful, uplifted, and energetic all the time.

Yet, we are not built that way.

We are made to feel the full range of emotions.

Dozens of them.

From the highest to the lowest.

When we shut ourselves off from them, we often find trouble.

Perhaps not right away.

Yet over the long run, the unexpressed, unfelt feelings can cause lots of trouble.

From heart-ache to heartburn, and much worse.

It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, but it sure beats the alternative.

What are you feeling today?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

There Is A Often A Huge Difference Between Perception And Truth

Our perceptions are tricky things.

We think we know what is going on, yet we only see it from our perspective.

That conversation we had with our partner or the event that happened in another part of the world, is open to our interpretation based on our perceptions.

In order to stay grounded, it is useful to ask ourselves a simple question.

Is that really true?

Is our perception or interpretation of a given situation actually true for other people and not just us?

If a third party, someone not involved emotionally in it, saw or heard what went on, would they have the same conclusion as we do?

What we often think of as an objective fact is rarely so.

The more we question our perceptions and our assumptions, the more we realize how much of our belief is opinion and not fact.

Is that really true?

Even our own thoughts are our interpretations.

That is true for us, and it is true for everyone else.

So it is useful to always double-check when we recognize there are assumptions present.

Is that really true?

The more that question becomes part of our daily practice, the more we can catch ourselves.

The more we catch other people’s assumptions.

The more we can be humble with our opinions.

The more we can connect with people on a deeper level.

Is that really true?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Releasing Control And Trusting More Allows Life To Surpass Our Imagination

We often get in trouble when we focus too much on control.

The desire for control comes from more than fear.

We look to control our circumstance, our environment, and our relationships because of something deeper.

It comes from a profound lack of trust.

A lack of trust in ourselves.

A lack of trust in the world.

A lack of trust in Life.

In our minds, we have good reasons for this lack of trust.

Yet if we look deep into our hearts, we want to trust more than anything else.

Making the effort to control everything in our lives is exhausting.

It also leaves little room for Life to bring us the unexpected.

While that may sound comforting to us, it is also quite limiting.

Life can surprise us with the most amazing adventures when we allow it to.

Giving up control is not about releasing our responsibilities in our lives.

It is about trusting ourselves deeply that we can handle and thrive in any situation Life brings us.

By trusting more and controlling less, we can allow amazing circumstances to develop.

We can allow others to contribute more and truly create team efforts.

We can lessen the stress in our lives and live more joyfully.

We can start to have a happier journey throughout our lives.

Yes, control can be very comforting.

Is it worth it?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Kinder We Are With Ourselves The Easier It Is To Take Responsibility

How do we take responsibility for our actions?

How do we show up when we’ve made a mistake or done something we thought better of afterward?

Do we justify and throw blame on to others?

Or do we go beyond the idea of blame and merely make right what we have done?

All too often in this society, we find that people fear to take responsibility for their actions and words.

We see how people deny or change what happened out of fear.

Fear drives us to hide from the consequences of our deeds.

We fear how others will respond and react to what we have said or done.

We fear it not because of what others may do.

We fear it because of our own judgments about ourselves.

We fear it because we are being too hard on ourselves, and secretly we are condemning ourselves long before anyone else knows what happened.

This is because we are always our own worst critic, our own worst detractor.

We are far harsher on ourselves than anyone else can ever be.

Our fears are not about what others may do.

Our fears are about merely being exposed and being seen for what we have done.

We fear being human.

We fear making mistakes.

Yet when we allow ourselves to be human and make mistakes, we allow others to do the same.

When we become more compassionate for ourselves, we can be more compassionate for others.

And when we all soften into compassion for being human, there is no reason to be afraid to take responsibility.

We are all guilty, so let’s be more kind to ourselves and to everyone else.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Trusting Ourselves Is The Great Gift We Can Give The World

Trusting ourselves may be one of the hardest things to learn.

It is hard not because we are untrustworthy.

It is hard because of how we have interpreted our experiences throughout our life.

It is very common for us to feel that bad things happened to us because it was our fault.

We must have done something wrong for that bully to beat us up.

We must be wrong for wanting the things that we need as children yet didn’t receive.

There must be something really wrong with us for us to experience all that pain we felt.

We turn all the blame inwards not knowing how else to understand the world around us.

Yet as we unravel the traumas we experienced when we were young, we can begin to see that it was not our fault.

We are not to blame for other people doing bad things to us.

We are not to blame for losing people close to us.

We are not to blame for desiring to have our emotional and physical needs met.

Indeed, all it means is that we are human.

And if we are not to blame for how the world is around us, then we can trust ourselves more.

We can change the story around those experiences and learn that we are basically okay.

Our presence is a gift to others.

Our contributions are valuable.

Our point of view does matter.

And ultimately, there is no blame to go around, there is only the experience of life.

The magic is that once we start to truly trust ourselves, life will give us more reasons to do so.

The more we trust ourselves, the more we can trust ourselves.

And as we practice trusting ourselves, we can inspire others to trust themselves as well.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Ritual Is A Powerful Tool For Supporting Our Deepest Work

In this modern age of technology and science, we have a tendency to dismiss the idea of ritual.

We think it is something outdated and for the superstitious.

Ritual appears to be old-fashioned and irrelevant today.

Yet nothing can be further from the truth.

Ritual creates an energy that feeds and uplifts.

Ritual is built on decades or centuries of practice that support all who engage in it.

Ritual lets us know that we are doing something special and changes our state of mind.

Without Ritual our efforts meet more resistance and require more energy.

With Ritual we energetically know that there is something more than what we see around us supporting us.

We can always create our own rituals, that have deep, personal meaning to them.

We can incorporate aspects of other’s rituals that we resonate with without having to copy it word for word.

Yet still, the power of Ritual is inherent in its very nature.

The more we repeat it, the more we engage in it, the more energy and the more power is behind it.

The more we put into it, the more we get out of it.

That is something we can use in all of our lives.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Quality Of Our Energy Is More Important Than The Amount

We all talk about energy, usually about how much or how little we have.

We tend to think that we just need more energy so we can get more done.

Yet there is a lot more to energy than the amount.

Having too much energy can be as debilitating as not having enough energy.

More important than the amount of energy, is the quality of the energy.

When there is a high quality of energy inside of us and around us, we function more fully.

Yet what determines the quality of our energy?

The meaning we make from the source of the energy, or of the energy itself.

Is it a fun energy or a depressing energy?

Does the energy come from a friend or a foe?

Is the energy from competition or cooperation?

Does the energy feel erratic or smooth?

Are we able to take in the energy with grace or is it a battle?

Does the energy feel draining to us, or does it fill us up?

The meaning we make from the situations we all encounter come from our experience and our culture.

What one culture labels as bad another labels as good.

What is appropriate in the jungle may not be appropriate in the desert.

What feeds us when we are in nature may drain us in a big city.

Culture, context, meaning, it all plays a role in the story we make around energy.

What is the story you make around the energy in your life?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We Are Flow Not Something That Experiences Flow

Being In The Flow is something we all strive for.

That feeling that everything is just going right, and it all seems so easy.

Yet there seems to be a lot of confusion of how to get there or how to maintain that feeling.

Perhaps part of the issue is that we don’t really understand what it means to be In The Flow?

Of course, it can mean different things to different people. For many people, it is just a feeling that they know when they feel it, yet have a hard time describing it.

For many people, it is just a feeling that they know when they feel it, yet have a hard time describing it.

And maybe the biggest confusion is that we think Flow is something separate or apart from us.

The image of a river flowing, and how we have to jump in it to be carried by the water often comes up.

Could there be a better way of understanding Flow?

From an energetic perspective, Flow is not something distinct or separate from us.

Flow is what surrounds and engulfs us every moment of every day.

We are Flow, we are not something that experiences Flow.

We Flow, and as we Flow we experience being present in a unique way.

We Flow in our lives, in our jobs, in our relationships, and in all the moments in between.

Even when we are in resistance we are experiencing Flow, just a Flow of a different nature.

So instead of thinking How Do I Get Into Flow, try thinking What Flow Am I Experiencing Now?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We are programmed against change.

Our brains are hard-wired for keeping the status quo going.

Change is death. Change is Bad. Change is to be avoided.

Is it any wonder that change is so hard for us?

Yet, we no longer live in jungles where if we stray off the path we can be eaten by a tiger.

We (most of us) no longer roam the plains in search of our next meal as we fight off starvation.

We have the privilege now to reflect on our lives, work on ourselves, and change.

Yet in order to do that we must fight again generations and generations of instincts that tell us not to.

This is why so much effort is needed, especially when we are working from the outside, in.

When we work from the inside, out, we often find our results come quicker and last longer.

Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is essential.

Practice being open to change in little ways first, then build on that.

See the change in yourself and in others, even where you don’t want to.

Recognizing change is one of the most important things we can do to reinforce the changes in ourselves.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Yet sometimes being stuck is exactly where we need to be.

There is great information in being in that place of stuckness.

Perhaps it is an indication that you can take a break. Perhaps it is a way for the Universe to slow you down and give you some perspective.

Maybe we need to be stuck every once in  awhile to remind us of what’s like, and why we like moving forward so much more.

There is so much to be learned from being in a stuck place, we just have to learn to be okay with not being comfortable in that place, give it some space, and look at it with new eyes.

Is there another way to go?

Are you sure you want to continue on the path you’re on?

Is there a new direction or new journey you can take that feels better for you?

Are there things you have not yet considered about where you are that you can look at more deeply?

Being stuck is one of the great pauses we can take to look around, re-evaluate, and reconsider what we’re doing or where we’re going.

Let’s not waste the moment complaining about it. Let’s use being stuck as the great opportunity it is to ponder and meditate on our situation more deeply…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant