To Heal Our Deepest Wounds We Must Speak The Truth About Our Pain

In order to begin our healing process, there is something we must be willing to do.

It is not just about taking better care of ourselves or changing our lifestyle.

It is about something far deeper and more difficult.

To start the journey to healing and wholeness we must be willing to speak our truth.

The truth about how we feel deep inside.

The truth about our pain and suffering.

The truth about our desires and secret wishes.

Without admitting to ourselves what we are experiencing, without admitting what we are feeling, without admitting to ourselves what we truly want, we cannot move forward.

What we hide inside ourselves will continue to control us.

What we shun and fear will continue to affect our lives.

The truth we deny within ourselves will fester and grow until it must come out.

It is not easy to admit the truth to ourselves.

It takes courage to be brutally honest about how we feel and what we want.

Yet we do it not for others, but for ourselves.

To be whole again

To be at peace.

To heal the deepest wounds that stay with us our whole lives.

These are the wounds that kill us, if we do not address them.

These are the wounds that drive us, if we do not speak them out loud.

It is only by shining the light of our own truth upon the blackest corners of our soul that we free ourselves from their shackles.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Wanting Pain To End Is Not Bad – It Is Human

It is hard to admit when we are in pain that we just want it to stop.

We don’t care about the consequences, all we care about is stopping the pain.

Perhaps the pain is seeing a loved one dying, and we just want it to be over.

Perhaps the pain is seeing our own deterioration, and we just want to end.

Perhaps the pain is seeing someone else destroy themselves, and we can’t take it anymore.

It’s normal and human to want it to end.

The hard part is accepting how we feel about it without judging ourselves.

It is easy to fall into guilt, shame, and self-loathing over how we feel.

Yet those emotions do not serve us, and indeed, harm us.

What must we do to accept that we are human and we it is all right to want the pain to stop?

It doesn’t mean we have to act on it.

It doesn’t mean we have to do something about it.

It just means that we are in pain and we want it to stop.

Can we learn to forgive ourselves for that desire?

Can we learn to let go of the guilt and shame and be gentler to  ourselves?

Can we learn to love ourselves enough that we forgive ourselves in spite of how we feel?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We All Have Dog Days Every Now And Then

We all have dog days every now and then.

We all sometimes feel like the world is against us.

We all wake up on the wrong side of the bed once in a while.

The key is not to marinate in the misery.

Feeling awful? Great! Feel it!

Let’s not stuff down the uncomfortable feelings.

Let’s not ignore the signs that tell us it’s time to take a break.

Let’s not forget that will always be ups and downs.

If we can stop judging the downs as bad, we can get through them with greater ease.

When we truly accept all that life brings to us, regardless of how good or bad it feels, somehow things just go smoother.

It’s okay to have a dog day, just don’t drag it around with you for the rest of your life.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

When We Validate And Love Ourselves Others Will Surely Follow

It is not uncommon for us to look for acceptance and validation from the outside world.

When we were young, perhaps we didn’t receive the love and attention that we craved.

Perhaps we were compared to others and felt that we didn’t measure up.

Or maybe we didn’t receive the comfort we needed at a moment of despair or pain.

There are many reasons why we might look to others for approval and support.

That can be a trap. Looking for something as elusive as acceptance from others is a tricky game.

We may get it, or we may not. Yet there is a better way to go about it.

Ultimately, all acceptance comes first from self-acceptance.

We may look for love and validation from others, yet when we love and validate ourselves first, the desire for it from others dramatically decreases.

Not that the desire for the love and approval from others ever goes away.

Yet if we are aware and conscious of that desire, and learn to direct it more inwards than outwards, we can find what we are truly looking for.

The side benefit is that when we truly accept ourselves, others are much more likely to as well.

Once again, doing the inner work of self-reflection and self-realization brings on more rewards in the outside world than we imagined.

For there is no inner world or outer world, there is only one world, the world of now.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Although we do not like to think about it, death is our constant companion.

Most people fear death, for it is the great unknown.

That is because we don’t understand how to use it properly in our lives.

Death is a part of our lives, and we can use it to help be more present on a daily basis.

Death helps to give us perspective and to see what is truly important to us.

Death helps us to let go of the inconsequential and sharpen our focus.

Death is the reminder that all things are impermanent.

The conversation around death in our culture is one that only sees it as a loss in life.

It is so much more.

The most important aspect of death is our own death.

From seeing our own death more clearly we empower ourselves to be more decisive.

Death is not a trap or a fiend. Death is a tool.

Not one to use against another person. It is a tool to use against our own bad habits.

Death is the purest characteristic of life as it treats everyone the same.

Death comes to everyone – the old, the young, the sick and the healthy.

When we keep death as our constant companion we are free of the attachments that limit us.

Death is the ultimate transformation, yet we do not have to wait until we meet it to transform.

Death can transform our lives for the better if we allow it to.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Hate Is Not About Hatred

Hate is not about Hatred.

Anger is not about Rage.

Fear is not about Fright.

When we go deep enough, what underlies them all is pain and sadness.

When we are in pain we lash out. We lash out without thought and without understanding.

We may pick a specific target for our hate and anger, yet it is not about that specific target.

It is about our pain. And underneath that pain is a profound sadness.

In the moment, all we can feel is that if we cause someone or something else pain, it will take away ours.

Nothing is further from the truth.

Pain only causes more pain. To stop the pain, we must be present to it, we must allow it to run its course without stuffing it down.

We all have pain and we all feel pain, the difference is how we deal with it.

The most important thing is not to pass it on.

So let’s give ourselves some space to feel our pain, to feel our sadness, and to allow our bodies to process it with time.

Perhaps when we learn not to pass on our pain we will see less pain in the world.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Screen Shot 2017-07-18 at 4.34.59 PM

Pain is a great communicator.

You cannot ignore it, nor can you avoid it.

We spend a great deal of time attempting to make it go away instead of listening to it.

Pain always has a message to it. It is here to inform us that something needs to change.

It does not matter whether it is physical pain or emotional pain, the message is the same.

Something is not working properly and we need to look at it. Something is stuck and we need to release it, Something is not aligned and we need to balance it.

So often we judge pain as bad and that makes it all the more painful. When we can release our judgement over pain and pay attention to it, we have taken the first step to releasing it.

Listening to it, really delving into it and being open to it’s message, is the surest way to get past it.

As long as we stuff it down, ignore it, and avoid it at all costs, it will persist. It will continue and we’ll miss a great opportunity to learn.

Where is your pain? What is it telling you? How can you be more open to it?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant