Trusting Ourselves Is The Great Gift We Can Give The World

Trusting ourselves may be one of the hardest things to learn.

It is hard not because we are untrustworthy.

It is hard because of how we have interpreted our experiences throughout our life.

It is very common for us to feel that bad things happened to us because it was our fault.

We must have done something wrong for that bully to beat us up.

We must be wrong for wanting the things that we need as children yet didn’t receive.

There must be something really wrong with us for us to experience all that pain we felt.

We turn all the blame inwards not knowing how else to understand the world around us.

Yet as we unravel the traumas we experienced when we were young, we can begin to see that it was not our fault.

We are not to blame for other people doing bad things to us.

We are not to blame for losing people close to us.

We are not to blame for desiring to have our emotional and physical needs met.

Indeed, all it means is that we are human.

And if we are not to blame for how the world is around us, then we can trust ourselves more.

We can change the story around those experiences and learn that we are basically okay.

Our presence is a gift to others.

Our contributions are valuable.

Our point of view does matter.

And ultimately, there is no blame to go around, there is only the experience of life.

The magic is that once we start to truly trust ourselves, life will give us more reasons to do so.

The more we trust ourselves, the more we can trust ourselves.

And as we practice trusting ourselves, we can inspire others to trust themselves as well.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Intuition May Not Be Perfect – Yet When We Use It Amazing Things Happen

Our intuition may not be perfect.

Our hunches may not work out all the time.

Sometimes, we follow them and we make obvious mistakes in hindsight.

Yet our intuition guides us more accurately than our logic.

Why?

Because following our intuition, once we’ve practiced following it, just feels better.

Yes, it sometimes means ignoring the facts.

Yes, it sometimes means not being able to explain ourselves.

Yes, it sometimes even feels foolish in the face of other people’s logical arguments.

Yet when we follow the feeling we receive from our intuition, it just feels right.

It feels right in our bodies because we are learning to trust our body’s intelligence.

We have been taught to value the mind’s intelligence above all else.

This makes trusting our bodies more difficult.

Yet when we do, amazing things happen.

That person we felt wasn’t quite trustworthy, turns out to actually not be trustworthy.

That opportunity we took a chance on because it felt right, ended up paying off big time.

That relationship we were stuck in and didn’t feel right finally ends so we can meet our life partner.

Our intuition is right far more than it is wrong.

We just have to learn to trust it and use it more, like any muscle in the body.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Expectations Exist In The Future – Reality Exists In The Now

We all have expectations.

We expect our relationships to go one way and our careers to go another.

We expect our friends to treat us a certain way and our family to treat us another way.

All these expectations and more lead us down a path to one thing – pain.

Why do expectations almost always lead us to pain?

Because our expectations are rarely met, or if they are met, they are met not in the way we desire.

Another reason why expectations lead to pain is that they take our out of the moment, out of the now.

To be truly present at any given moment is to be beyond expectations.

Expectations exist in the future. Reality exists in the now.

When we are present with our friends, there is no judgment.

When we are present with any given task, there is no right or wrong.

In the present moment, there is only what is in front of us.

Our fears often take us out of the given moment, as do our hopes.

Our mind is rarely, if ever present.

Our bodies always are present.

To pay attention to our bodies is to be more present than paying attention to our minds.

To get out of the trap of expectations, perhaps we just need to be a little present to the moment.

In the present moment, everything is perfect.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Trust Is Not About Thinking Trust Is About Feeling Our Way Through

One of the hardest things for us to do is trust ourselves.

We believe that we are not trust-worthy based on our history.

We feel that given the chance we will make the same mistakes again.

Yet, most of the time, when we look back the mistakes we made came from not truly trusting ourselves.

Something went wrong, and we think it’s our fault.

If we really focus on the details, most of the time we will find that something didn’t feel right, yet we still went forward because the was no hard evidence.

That’s where we didn’t trust ourselves.

We didn’t trust the signals that were coming from our bodies.

We didn’t trust our intuition.

We didn’t trust that life was signaling us the best way it could at the time.

We trusted our minds over everything else, and it didn’t turn out the way we expected.

Trust is not about thinking our way through something.

Trust is about noticing our feelings and believing without any other evidence, those feelings are true.

Our brains are actually lousy decision-making devices.

They are great for recording and measuring things.

Our bodies, our gut, our intuitive sense of life, is much better at feeling the way through to the right choice.

We are very trust-worthy when we use all that life has given us.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Quality Of Our Energy Is More Important Than The Amount

We all talk about energy, usually about how much or how little we have.

We tend to think that we just need more energy so we can get more done.

Yet there is a lot more to energy than the amount.

Having too much energy can be as debilitating as not having enough energy.

More important than the amount of energy, is the quality of the energy.

When there is a high quality of energy inside of us and around us, we function more fully.

Yet what determines the quality of our energy?

The meaning we make from the source of the energy, or of the energy itself.

Is it a fun energy or a depressing energy?

Does the energy come from a friend or a foe?

Is the energy from competition or cooperation?

Does the energy feel erratic or smooth?

Are we able to take in the energy with grace or is it a battle?

Does the energy feel draining to us, or does it fill us up?

The meaning we make from the situations we all encounter come from our experience and our culture.

What one culture labels as bad another labels as good.

What is appropriate in the jungle may not be appropriate in the desert.

What feeds us when we are in nature may drain us in a big city.

Culture, context, meaning, it all plays a role in the story we make around energy.

What is the story you make around the energy in your life?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The More We Push Against Our Trauma, The More It Persists

It is so common to push against the uncomfortable experiences of our lives.

We cut ourselves off from our trauma and our heartbreaks.

We look to “fix” and “resolve” those experiences and how they have affected us.

Yet the more we push against them the more they persist.

The more we separate ourselves from those experiences, the more energy we give to them.

For those aspects of our lives will always push back with an equal or greater force.

What we look to deny and disavow in our lives ends up defining our lives.

This is why the abused turn into abusers.

Is there a better way?

How about stopping the act of pushing against them and giving them space to breathe?

How about acknowledging those aspects of our lives, and allowing them to have a voice?

What would they say to you? Are there lessons there that we are not listening to?

Can we learn to feel the pain and not judge it?

We are so programmed to only feel those feelings that comfort and elate us.

Yet there are so many feelings that don’t, and we are taught to judge and deny those feelings.

And the more we deny them, the more trouble they will cause in our lives.

When we embrace them, dance with them, hold them without judgment or disdain, then we can process them and move beyond them.

The more we learn to allow all of the feelings that arise in our lives, the freer we become to live life fully.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

To Heal Our Deepest Wounds We Must Speak The Truth About Our Pain

In order to begin our healing process, there is something we must be willing to do.

It is not just about taking better care of ourselves or changing our lifestyle.

It is about something far deeper and more difficult.

To start the journey to healing and wholeness we must be willing to speak our truth.

The truth about how we feel deep inside.

The truth about our pain and suffering.

The truth about our desires and secret wishes.

Without admitting to ourselves what we are experiencing, without admitting what we are feeling, without admitting to ourselves what we truly want, we cannot move forward.

What we hide inside ourselves will continue to control us.

What we shun and fear will continue to affect our lives.

The truth we deny within ourselves will fester and grow until it must come out.

It is not easy to admit the truth to ourselves.

It takes courage to be brutally honest about how we feel and what we want.

Yet we do it not for others, but for ourselves.

To be whole again

To be at peace.

To heal the deepest wounds that stay with us our whole lives.

These are the wounds that kill us, if we do not address them.

These are the wounds that drive us, if we do not speak them out loud.

It is only by shining the light of our own truth upon the blackest corners of our soul that we free ourselves from their shackles.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

To Truly Help Others Is To Empower Them To Find Their Own Answers

We often think that when we give someone the answer we are helping them.

By being the shining knight we feel good about rescuing the person from their situation.

In the long run that only makes them depend upon someone else.

To truly help others is to empower them.

Empower them to find their own answers.

Empower them to trust their feelings.

Empower them to see that everything they need is already inside of them.

We do not need more gurus or more masters.

What we need is to be shown how to be our own guru.

When we become truly self-reliant we can achieve amazing things.

Ultimately, our job is to help the other person to see that they don’t need us.

Now that’s empowerment!

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

When We Show Up Better The World Shows Up Better For Us

Showing up better in our lives is not about comparing ourselves to others.

Showing up better is not necessarily about being smarter, stronger, or faster.

Showing up better in our lives is about just being better than we were the day before.

Even small improvements, tiny changes, can have a big impact over time.

When we take better care of ourselves, we show up better.

When we are more kind and gentle to ourselves, we show up better.

When we nurture and encourage ourselves, we show up better.

The thing is, we don’t have to show up better for anyone else.

It’s not a condition or responsibility that we owe to anyone other than ourselves.

We show up better so we can feel better, more alive, more empowered.

We show up better so we can have a greater sense of contribution or service.

We show up better so we can have a more profound impact on the world around us.

It doesn’t take huge leaps and bounds to get there.

We just need to recognize the ways in which we know and feel we can be better, and then just work on those aspects a little at a time.

When we show up better, the world shows up better for us.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We Are Not Broken And Don’t Need to Be Fixed We Are Perfectly Imperfect

It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that there is something wrong with us.

It is not unusual to feel that we are broken, and need to be fixed.

That is not the truth.

Actually, we are perfect exactly the way we are.

This does not mean that we do not desire to do better.

What it is really is about is accepting ourselves exactly the way we are without judgment or criticism.

We all feel not good enough. We all feel unworthy.

The thing is, that’s usually our greatest gift!

It may seem counter-intuitive, yet the very things we are trying so hard to change, are our greatest assets.

We just have to learn how to reframe and reinterpret that part of our lives.

Our faults and our flaws are what make us human.

Sure, we can learn to do better and there is nothing wrong with wanted to improve.

In fact, doing that deep internal work is the great work of a lifetime.

It just means that we don’t have to judge ourselves in the process. Or others for that matter.

We are not here to beat ourselves up or pick at every little mistake we make.

It is primarily through our mistakes that we learn and grow. There is nothing wrong with making a mistake.

So let’s find a way to stop marinating in our misery and see ourselves as perfectly imperfect.

Let’s be not just a little kinder to ourselves, but a lot kinder to ourselves!

Live is meant to be joyful, not painful and demeaning.

Let’s let our light shine even though the dark spots are visible.

Being human is a lot easier than living up to some false ideal.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant