Standing Up For Ourselves Is Not Selfish It Is How We Meet Our Needs

For some of us, the lesson of standing up for ourselves is a big one.

We have been taught to be nice and not cause trouble.

We give in too easy to others or we do not ask for what we want or need.

There is a better way to show up.

We can stand up for ourselves without being belligerent.

We can stand up for ourselves and ask for what we need without getting emotional.

We can stand up for ourselves by simply saying no.

Standing up for ourselves does not mean we are being selfish.

It does not mean we are self-centered.

It only means that we value ourselves and our needs.

If we all learned to stand up for ourselves in a firm yet gentle manner, life would be clearer.

Boundaries would be more evident.

Desires would be more out in the open.

And when our desires do not match what the other is willing or able to give,  we can walk away without any hard feelings.

Expectations would be clear from the start.

Our positions at work and at home would be apparent.

And because all of these things would be more recognizable, we would actually receive more of what we need.

What kind of world would we be living in if that were the case?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Appreciation Is Not Only For The Appreciated It Lifts Our Spirit & Connects Us

Appreciation is not for the appreciated.

Acknowledgment, however, is for the acknowledged.

Often the two are confused.

The purpose behind each one is also often lost.

When we appreciate others we feel better.

Of course, because we feel better and we appreciate them, they feel better as well.

Yet we often don’t realize that our appreciation of others is its own reward.

We not only feel good, it also allows us to feel appreciated too.

When we know what the feeling of appreciation is like, we can allow it in as well.

The feeling of appreciation is a feeling of connection.

It reminds us that there are other people who feel good to us.

In turn, we feel good to them.

Acknowledgment means we recognize them for the appreciation we feel.

The act of Acknowledgment helps remind them that they are connected to us.

That we see them.

That we feel them in a way that lifts us all up.

Appreciation lifts our own spirit.

Acknowledgment lifts up everyone’s spirit.

Together, they allow us to form community and to heal.

To know we are accepted and to feel we are seen.

The more we appreciate, the more we can acknowledge.

So who can we appreciate and acknowledge  more in our lives?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Attitudes About Transformation Affect How We Transform

Sometimes transformation is a sudden, jarring, experience.

Sometimes the transformation is a slow, plodding along, experience.

And sometimes, transformation is so minute, so small, that we didn’t even notice it happened.

Almost more important than the event itself is our relationship to it.

Are we anticipating it with impatience and restlessness?

Are we sitting back and just waiting for it to happen to us without our involvement?

Are we so confident it is happening that we don’t even give it a thought and just keep doing what we’re doing?

Transformation takes on many forms and many appearances.

It can be like the caterpillar going inside its cocoon.

It can be like a snake shedding its skin.

Or it can be like a sudden break-up in a relationship.

We are transforming all the time.

We are growing and changing every day.

We are always in the middle of our transformation, which may be why we don’t notice it.

Our attitudes and preconceptions around transformation will color how we transform.

It is common to expect that over-night, instantaneous transformation will happen.

Yet it is more common that the transformation happens little by little, one step at a time, over a long period of time.

What do you expect about your own transformation?

Will it be sudden or slow?

Either way, you’re right.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

When We Accept That Life Is Perfectly Imperfect We Find Freedom

Life is not about everything going right or the way we expect.

Life is not about getting things perfect and avoiding all mistakes.

Life is not about steering clear of pain and frustration.

Indeed, all of these can help us to grow and be stronger.

Yet so often we would do anything just to avoid being wrong.

It is only in the acceptance that life is perfectly imperfect that we find true freedom.

We find the freedom to be ourselves.

To take chances.

To be joyful even when our choices lead us to a disaster or two.

By releasing our attachment that we are meant to “get it right” all the time that we can learn to just enjoy the ride.

Mistakes are our friends.

Failure is our teacher.

Pain is our messenger.

When we begin to accept that they are all a part of life and there is nothing “wrong” with any of them that we truly start to live.

When we learn to accept whatever life brings us with grace and curiosity that we live with less stress and less anxiety.

It is possible for us to get there.

Not next year or in a decade.

We can be there now.

We can be there by just putting off our judgment of the moment we are in until tomorrow.

And tomorrow we can just put off judging the moment until the next day.

And so on.

Let’s just let go of our desire to label and control things for one day.

That’s all we have to do.

Can we start doing that today?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Self-Care Is Essential For Our Own Well-Being And The Well-Being Of Others

We often feel pressure to be of service to others.

Sometimes that works out well.

Other times it wears us down.

If we don’t learn to balance out self-care with service, we can end up with some serious challenges.

It is easy to think of other’s needs and put our own needs to the side.

We feel that if we just show up for others and help them with their challenges we don’t have to worry about ourselves.

Yet that isn’t how things usually work out.

We put ourselves second, or last, and then we have a breakdown while trying to help others.

The breakdown can come in many forms.

It can be physical, it can be emotional, or it can be in our relationships.

What we often don’t understand is that the breakdown occurs exactly because we put our own needs behind that of someone else.

Whether it is a friend, a relative, a partner, or a business, it doesn’t matter.

By not meeting our own needs, by not recognizing that we have to take care of ourselves first, we head down a track that ultimately leads to some kind of breakdown.

The fact that the breakdown occurs is not a bad thing. It is a signal.

It is a signal that we haven’t been operating from a compassionate place and that something needs to change.

Yes, we need to be compassionate to others.

Yet how can we be compassionate to other if we have not yet been compassionate for ourselves?

The breakdown is to show us we need to practice self-care.

Self-care means we have to take care of our own needs in order to have what we need to take care of others.

Practicing self-care is essential for our own well-being as well as the well-being of others.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Releasing Control And Trusting More Allows Life To Surpass Our Imagination

We often get in trouble when we focus too much on control.

The desire for control comes from more than fear.

We look to control our circumstance, our environment, and our relationships because of something deeper.

It comes from a profound lack of trust.

A lack of trust in ourselves.

A lack of trust in the world.

A lack of trust in Life.

In our minds, we have good reasons for this lack of trust.

Yet if we look deep into our hearts, we want to trust more than anything else.

Making the effort to control everything in our lives is exhausting.

It also leaves little room for Life to bring us the unexpected.

While that may sound comforting to us, it is also quite limiting.

Life can surprise us with the most amazing adventures when we allow it to.

Giving up control is not about releasing our responsibilities in our lives.

It is about trusting ourselves deeply that we can handle and thrive in any situation Life brings us.

By trusting more and controlling less, we can allow amazing circumstances to develop.

We can allow others to contribute more and truly create team efforts.

We can lessen the stress in our lives and live more joyfully.

We can start to have a happier journey throughout our lives.

Yes, control can be very comforting.

Is it worth it?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Every Day Is A New Day To Gift The World A New You

Every day is a new day.

Every time we wake up we have an opportunity to create something new.

Every time we open our eyes we have a chance to see the world from a new perspective.

Life is not stagnant.

We do not stay the same.

Every moment we breathe we can make new choices and move in new directions.

We can build something that has never been built before.

We can touch someone’s life with kindness and care.

We can show up with more presence and courage.

We are not limited to our past experience.

We are not limited to our past actions.

We are not limited to our past thoughts.

It does not matter what happened yesterday.

Today is a new day and with it comes new possibilities and new options.

We can create a new world if we choose to.

We can create a new life for ourselves if we choose to.

We can create new experiences for ourselves and others.

It is our choice. It is our life to decide what to do with.

Let today be the new day you have been waiting for to launch your new venture.

Launch your new ideas.

Launch the new version of you as a gift to the world.

The world is waiting for you. What will you do with this day?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Not Giving The Answer Allows People To Grow and Trust Themselves

How do we empower others?

How do we, as coaches, teachers, guides, parents, bosses, and managers, help those we interact with, find their way?

Do we give them all the answers?

Do we tell them all that we have learned?

Or do we guide them to find the answers within themselves?

Handing someone the answer to a challenge they are facing may feel good to use, yet if the person we are trying to help does not learn to find the answers on their own, we have only disempowered them, not empower them.

Being a real guide, a true mentor, means learning to ask the questions that allow them to realize what the correct path is for themselves.

We may think we know the answer.

We may think we have the solution to their issues.

Yet if all we do is share our opinion with them, they have not learned how to access their own inner wisdom.

We have not taught them that they do have the power to resolve their own issues.

We have not given them the gift of our presence and allowed them to use their creativity and trust themselves more.

It does not matter whether the person we are working with is our partner, our lover, our child, our employee, or our co-worker.

It does not matter how important or unimportant the situation may be.

We are only enticing the people around us to find their own path through their own efforts, or we are taking that opportunity away from them.

When we create dependency for others, we create slaves.

When we create the atmosphere for independent thinking, we allow people to grow.

What do you want to create? Follower or fellow leaders?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Intuition May Not Be Perfect – Yet When We Use It Amazing Things Happen

Our intuition may not be perfect.

Our hunches may not work out all the time.

Sometimes, we follow them and we make obvious mistakes in hindsight.

Yet our intuition guides us more accurately than our logic.

Why?

Because following our intuition, once we’ve practiced following it, just feels better.

Yes, it sometimes means ignoring the facts.

Yes, it sometimes means not being able to explain ourselves.

Yes, it sometimes even feels foolish in the face of other people’s logical arguments.

Yet when we follow the feeling we receive from our intuition, it just feels right.

It feels right in our bodies because we are learning to trust our body’s intelligence.

We have been taught to value the mind’s intelligence above all else.

This makes trusting our bodies more difficult.

Yet when we do, amazing things happen.

That person we felt wasn’t quite trustworthy, turns out to actually not be trustworthy.

That opportunity we took a chance on because it felt right, ended up paying off big time.

That relationship we were stuck in and didn’t feel right finally ends so we can meet our life partner.

Our intuition is right far more than it is wrong.

We just have to learn to trust it and use it more, like any muscle in the body.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Discernment Is Not About Figuring It Out – Its About Feeling It Out

Most people think discernment is about figuring out the right choice.

We use our logic minds to weigh all the pros and cons to come up with what we think is the best choice.

Yet discernment is about much more than making a rational decision.

Discernment is about how we feel about a given situation.

 Often, we may find that there is not enough evidence to go in a particular direction.

Perhaps, we’ve just met someone for the first time and we think they should be a good person.

Maybe because other people have said good things about them.

Yet our impression, for no good reason, is that they are not trust-worthy.

Something just doesn’t feel right.

When we shake their hand, we get a chill.

Then, we second guess ourselves.

We start telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be judgmental and we should give the person a chance.

So we do. And what happens?

They turn out to be the creep we felt they were, yet had no evidence of it.

Discernment is listening to feeling, that intuitive understanding that something is off.

We don’t have to know what is off, just that something feels off.

Sometimes it can as subtle as an inflection in their voice.

Or a look in their eye.

Or maybe it’s just an energetic hunch.

Trusting those feelings goes a long way to having discernment.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant