Expectations Exist In The Future – Reality Exists In The Now

We all have expectations.

We expect our relationships to go one way and our careers to go another.

We expect our friends to treat us a certain way and our family to treat us another way.

All these expectations and more lead us down a path to one thing – pain.

Why do expectations almost always lead us to pain?

Because our expectations are rarely met, or if they are met, they are met not in the way we desire.

Another reason why expectations lead to pain is that they take our out of the moment, out of the now.

To be truly present at any given moment is to be beyond expectations.

Expectations exist in the future. Reality exists in the now.

When we are present with our friends, there is no judgment.

When we are present with any given task, there is no right or wrong.

In the present moment, there is only what is in front of us.

Our fears often take us out of the given moment, as do our hopes.

Our mind is rarely, if ever present.

Our bodies always are present.

To pay attention to our bodies is to be more present than paying attention to our minds.

To get out of the trap of expectations, perhaps we just need to be a little present to the moment.

In the present moment, everything is perfect.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Monsters Are Here To Protect Our Innocence

We all have monsters within us.

We are taught to shun our monsters and keep them hidden.

This is because most people don’t really understand why the monsters are here.

By suppressing our monsters we allow them to fester in the unconscious.

And they will not stay there.

In time, all of our monsters come out.

Sometimes in positive ways, many times in damaging ways.

What we don’t understand is that our monsters are here to protect our innocence.

They are here because our inner child cannot deal with some harsh reality.

Perhaps it is some form of physical pain or emotional trauma that is too difficult to accept.

Perhaps it comes from the loss of a parent or person close to us.

Whatever the reason for the appearance of our monster, it is not here to destroy us.

It is here to help us. To protect us. To serve us.

Yet we have to mature and learn when we are ready to release our monsters.

Yes, they served us well and kept us from the pain.

Yet as we grow and face our pain, our monsters are no longer necessary.

We are no longer dependent on our monsters.

We can see them for what they are, be grateful to them for their service, and allow them to be integrated into our lives.

Our monsters are a part of us, yet they do not have rule over us.

When we are open to our monster’s messages, we can learn quite a lot about ourselves.

Our monsters are not that bad after all…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The More We Push Against Our Trauma, The More It Persists

It is so common to push against the uncomfortable experiences of our lives.

We cut ourselves off from our trauma and our heartbreaks.

We look to “fix” and “resolve” those experiences and how they have affected us.

Yet the more we push against them the more they persist.

The more we separate ourselves from those experiences, the more energy we give to them.

For those aspects of our lives will always push back with an equal or greater force.

What we look to deny and disavow in our lives ends up defining our lives.

This is why the abused turn into abusers.

Is there a better way?

How about stopping the act of pushing against them and giving them space to breathe?

How about acknowledging those aspects of our lives, and allowing them to have a voice?

What would they say to you? Are there lessons there that we are not listening to?

Can we learn to feel the pain and not judge it?

We are so programmed to only feel those feelings that comfort and elate us.

Yet there are so many feelings that don’t, and we are taught to judge and deny those feelings.

And the more we deny them, the more trouble they will cause in our lives.

When we embrace them, dance with them, hold them without judgment or disdain, then we can process them and move beyond them.

The more we learn to allow all of the feelings that arise in our lives, the freer we become to live life fully.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Every Trigger Is An Opportunity To Do Deep Work

When we are triggered by someone in our life, we think the problem is with the other person.

We look at what they did or how they are as the issue.

Yet if we take it more as an opportunity to learn, we can get great insight about ourselves.

That little annoyance can reveal quite a bit about ourselves if we’re willing to look.

Why are we getting so bothered by that action or those words?

Who does that attitude remind us of?

Is there something in ourselves that that person reminds us of?

Lots of times the things in others that bother us the most are the aspects of ourselves that we don’t want to acknowledge.

Can’t stand someone else being cheap? How are we being cheap in our own lives? Perhaps with ourselves?

Don’t like how that person is talking to you? Who do they remind you of? Perhaps a parent or sibling?

The people around act as mirrors for us to see ourselves.

What we see in them, what we like and what we don’t like, says more about us than it does about them.

Being triggered by how a person acts, how they look, or what they say is great!

The more we are triggered the more we can come face to face with our own issues.

So let’s face our triggers, not with anger or annoyance. Let’s face them with curiosity and enthusiasm!

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

To Heal Our Deepest Wounds We Must Speak The Truth About Our Pain

In order to begin our healing process, there is something we must be willing to do.

It is not just about taking better care of ourselves or changing our lifestyle.

It is about something far deeper and more difficult.

To start the journey to healing and wholeness we must be willing to speak our truth.

The truth about how we feel deep inside.

The truth about our pain and suffering.

The truth about our desires and secret wishes.

Without admitting to ourselves what we are experiencing, without admitting what we are feeling, without admitting to ourselves what we truly want, we cannot move forward.

What we hide inside ourselves will continue to control us.

What we shun and fear will continue to affect our lives.

The truth we deny within ourselves will fester and grow until it must come out.

It is not easy to admit the truth to ourselves.

It takes courage to be brutally honest about how we feel and what we want.

Yet we do it not for others, but for ourselves.

To be whole again

To be at peace.

To heal the deepest wounds that stay with us our whole lives.

These are the wounds that kill us, if we do not address them.

These are the wounds that drive us, if we do not speak them out loud.

It is only by shining the light of our own truth upon the blackest corners of our soul that we free ourselves from their shackles.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Play Can Be Deep Work

Sometimes, play can be deep inner work.

Yes, it can be superficial.

Yes, it can be just a distraction.

Yes, it can be nothing but play.

And it can be just what we needed.

Play is how the mind makes new connections.

Play is how we learn and grow.

When we get too serious, too stressed, we need play more than ever.

When we want to be more creative, play is necessary.

When we want to find a new solution, play allows us to be free.

Making time to play is never a waste.

The results may not show up right away, yet they will follow.

Are we taking enough time to play in our lives?

Perhaps we can all play a little more, and learn to be playful in our most serious work.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We Don’t Need Another Strategy We Need To Just Look Deep Inside

It is not so uncommon to feel that we need another strategy to move forward.

We feel that when we find that the one missing key we will be able to change our lives.

Yet what we really need is not another system or blueprint.

The fallacy in this thinking is that we need something external to us to change our lives.

The only way to change how life feels to us and move forward in an authentic way is to look deep inside.

We do not need another book or another seminar to teach us something that is already in our heart.

We do not need another workshop or another experience to show us how to be different.

When we look inside ourselves at the real work we need to do, we know the answer before we ask the question.

What we need more than anything else is the opportunity to work on ourselves without distraction.

What we want more than anything else is to connect with our soul and heal the deep wounds.

What serves us more than anything else is to be present to our feelings and our unexpressed emotions.

When we look internally instead of externally, we find all the answers we require to move forward in our lives.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We All Have Dog Days Every Now And Then

We all have dog days every now and then.

We all sometimes feel like the world is against us.

We all wake up on the wrong side of the bed once in a while.

The key is not to marinate in the misery.

Feeling awful? Great! Feel it!

Let’s not stuff down the uncomfortable feelings.

Let’s not ignore the signs that tell us it’s time to take a break.

Let’s not forget that will always be ups and downs.

If we can stop judging the downs as bad, we can get through them with greater ease.

When we truly accept all that life brings to us, regardless of how good or bad it feels, somehow things just go smoother.

It’s okay to have a dog day, just don’t drag it around with you for the rest of your life.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Although we do not like to think about it, death is our constant companion.

Most people fear death, for it is the great unknown.

That is because we don’t understand how to use it properly in our lives.

Death is a part of our lives, and we can use it to help be more present on a daily basis.

Death helps to give us perspective and to see what is truly important to us.

Death helps us to let go of the inconsequential and sharpen our focus.

Death is the reminder that all things are impermanent.

The conversation around death in our culture is one that only sees it as a loss in life.

It is so much more.

The most important aspect of death is our own death.

From seeing our own death more clearly we empower ourselves to be more decisive.

Death is not a trap or a fiend. Death is a tool.

Not one to use against another person. It is a tool to use against our own bad habits.

Death is the purest characteristic of life as it treats everyone the same.

Death comes to everyone – the old, the young, the sick and the healthy.

When we keep death as our constant companion we are free of the attachments that limit us.

Death is the ultimate transformation, yet we do not have to wait until we meet it to transform.

Death can transform our lives for the better if we allow it to.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Hate Is Not About Hatred

Hate is not about Hatred.

Anger is not about Rage.

Fear is not about Fright.

When we go deep enough, what underlies them all is pain and sadness.

When we are in pain we lash out. We lash out without thought and without understanding.

We may pick a specific target for our hate and anger, yet it is not about that specific target.

It is about our pain. And underneath that pain is a profound sadness.

In the moment, all we can feel is that if we cause someone or something else pain, it will take away ours.

Nothing is further from the truth.

Pain only causes more pain. To stop the pain, we must be present to it, we must allow it to run its course without stuffing it down.

We all have pain and we all feel pain, the difference is how we deal with it.

The most important thing is not to pass it on.

So let’s give ourselves some space to feel our pain, to feel our sadness, and to allow our bodies to process it with time.

Perhaps when we learn not to pass on our pain we will see less pain in the world.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant