When We Stop Being Defensive We Can Truly Open Our Hearts To Others

Whenever we have a difficult time with someone else, we naturally start defending ourselves.

We think the other person is attacking us, and we must defend our position or our opinion.

The argument with our coworker or our sibling turns into an offensive on our very being.

So what do we do?

We close out hearts and we go into our heads.

We start analyzing and rationalizing why we are right and they are wrong.

We create all kinds of stories around the incident that make us feel better about ourselves and feel not so good about the other person.

And where does that lead us?

To more hard feelings and a breakdown in communication.

All because we think it is all about us.

There is another way.

If when we are in the middle of the disagreement we keep our hearts open and realize that it is not about us but about the other person, then we can be more compassionate.

We can ask them what’s wrong and listen.

We can hear and feel what’s going on with them instead of putting up a wall.

We can be present with them and see where it takes us.

And we may just find out that is not about us at all.

It’s about the hard time they are dealing with at home, at the office, or in some other aspect of their life.

Suddenly we have evidence that it really wasn’t about us, or the subject of the discussion, it is about them and the difficulties they are going through.

Yet we would never get to that point if we did not give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and assume there is something else going on.

When we stop defending ourselves and assuming that the other person is against us we can transform the situation.

Being present and feeling the pain the other person is in not only helps us to feel better about ourselves, it helps diffuse the tension and energy of the situation and brings healing to everyone involved.

Isn’t that worth the effort to keep our hearts open?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Sign Of True Evolution Is Accepting Our Family Without Judgment

As adults, our families are our biggest teachers.

Our family knows us better than anyone else.

Our family can trigger us in ways no one else can.

The way our family judges us means more to us than anyone else.

Yet how we choose to show up in the midst of all of that says more about us than any other situation.

It is a great opportunity to put our practices and our patience to work.

When those closest to us push our buttons, how we respond shows our maturity.

Who we are as individuals is revealed by our actions in these most trying situations.

We can forgive our friends and our co-workers for behavior that annoys us.

Can we do the same for our family?

Our family may still treat us as if we are 10 years old. Can we respond as if we are no longer 10 years old?

We stress over how our parents or our relatives act. We would prefer they change.

Can we learn to accept them exactly the way they are?

Can we be with our family without judgment even when they judge us?

Can we be kind to them even when they are not kind to us?

Can we be patient with them if when they are not patient with us?

The sign of our true evolution is when we can face those that we know better than anyone else on the planet, and still accept them without judgment and with love.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Ritual Is A Powerful Tool For Supporting Our Deepest Work

In this modern age of technology and science, we have a tendency to dismiss the idea of ritual.

We think it is something outdated and for the superstitious.

Ritual appears to be old-fashioned and irrelevant today.

Yet nothing can be further from the truth.

Ritual creates an energy that feeds and uplifts.

Ritual is built on decades or centuries of practice that support all who engage in it.

Ritual lets us know that we are doing something special and changes our state of mind.

Without Ritual our efforts meet more resistance and require more energy.

With Ritual we energetically know that there is something more than what we see around us supporting us.

We can always create our own rituals, that have deep, personal meaning to them.

We can incorporate aspects of other’s rituals that we resonate with without having to copy it word for word.

Yet still, the power of Ritual is inherent in its very nature.

The more we repeat it, the more we engage in it, the more energy and the more power is behind it.

The more we put into it, the more we get out of it.

That is something we can use in all of our lives.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Discernment Is Not About Figuring It Out – Its About Feeling It Out

Most people think discernment is about figuring out the right choice.

We use our logic minds to weigh all the pros and cons to come up with what we think is the best choice.

Yet discernment is about much more than making a rational decision.

Discernment is about how we feel about a given situation.

 Often, we may find that there is not enough evidence to go in a particular direction.

Perhaps, we’ve just met someone for the first time and we think they should be a good person.

Maybe because other people have said good things about them.

Yet our impression, for no good reason, is that they are not trust-worthy.

Something just doesn’t feel right.

When we shake their hand, we get a chill.

Then, we second guess ourselves.

We start telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be judgmental and we should give the person a chance.

So we do. And what happens?

They turn out to be the creep we felt they were, yet had no evidence of it.

Discernment is listening to feeling, that intuitive understanding that something is off.

We don’t have to know what is off, just that something feels off.

Sometimes it can as subtle as an inflection in their voice.

Or a look in their eye.

Or maybe it’s just an energetic hunch.

Trusting those feelings goes a long way to having discernment.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Loneliness Is Not About Separation From Others But From Ourselves

Being alone does not mean we are lonely.

Being lonely does not mean we are alone.

Loneliness is about separation.

Not separation from others, but from ourselves.

When we are connected to our true authentic nature, we never feel lonely.

That’s because, at the very heart and core of who and what we are, we are a connected eternal spirit.

To cultivate the connection to our soul, being alone serves us.

It is much easier to connect to ourselves when there are no external distractions.

When we look deep inside we may find some scary things, yet ultimately, if we go deep enough, we connect to our true divine nature.

We can also find our divine nature by seeing it in others and connecting to them.

Yet, more often than not, we use connecting to others as an excuse not to look inside.

Why is that?

Perhaps it is because we consciously don’t know what we’ll find there.

Perhaps it is because we fear all those things we have been suppressing will rise up.

Perhaps it is because we just don’t feel worthy.

And yet if we sit still, even for five minutes and close our eyes and feel what is inside of us, a whole new world opens up.

It is a world that is rich and full of texture and feeling.

A world full of connection and support.

Our loneliness comes from disconnecting to that rich inner world.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Play Can Be Deep Work

Sometimes, play can be deep inner work.

Yes, it can be superficial.

Yes, it can be just a distraction.

Yes, it can be nothing but play.

And it can be just what we needed.

Play is how the mind makes new connections.

Play is how we learn and grow.

When we get too serious, too stressed, we need play more than ever.

When we want to be more creative, play is necessary.

When we want to find a new solution, play allows us to be free.

Making time to play is never a waste.

The results may not show up right away, yet they will follow.

Are we taking enough time to play in our lives?

Perhaps we can all play a little more, and learn to be playful in our most serious work.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We Don’t Need Another Strategy We Need To Just Look Deep Inside

It is not so uncommon to feel that we need another strategy to move forward.

We feel that when we find that the one missing key we will be able to change our lives.

Yet what we really need is not another system or blueprint.

The fallacy in this thinking is that we need something external to us to change our lives.

The only way to change how life feels to us and move forward in an authentic way is to look deep inside.

We do not need another book or another seminar to teach us something that is already in our heart.

We do not need another workshop or another experience to show us how to be different.

When we look inside ourselves at the real work we need to do, we know the answer before we ask the question.

What we need more than anything else is the opportunity to work on ourselves without distraction.

What we want more than anything else is to connect with our soul and heal the deep wounds.

What serves us more than anything else is to be present to our feelings and our unexpressed emotions.

When we look internally instead of externally, we find all the answers we require to move forward in our lives.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We Are Flow Not Something That Experiences Flow

Being In The Flow is something we all strive for.

That feeling that everything is just going right, and it all seems so easy.

Yet there seems to be a lot of confusion of how to get there or how to maintain that feeling.

Perhaps part of the issue is that we don’t really understand what it means to be In The Flow?

Of course, it can mean different things to different people. For many people, it is just a feeling that they know when they feel it, yet have a hard time describing it.

For many people, it is just a feeling that they know when they feel it, yet have a hard time describing it.

And maybe the biggest confusion is that we think Flow is something separate or apart from us.

The image of a river flowing, and how we have to jump in it to be carried by the water often comes up.

Could there be a better way of understanding Flow?

From an energetic perspective, Flow is not something distinct or separate from us.

Flow is what surrounds and engulfs us every moment of every day.

We are Flow, we are not something that experiences Flow.

We Flow, and as we Flow we experience being present in a unique way.

We Flow in our lives, in our jobs, in our relationships, and in all the moments in between.

Even when we are in resistance we are experiencing Flow, just a Flow of a different nature.

So instead of thinking How Do I Get Into Flow, try thinking What Flow Am I Experiencing Now?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

When We Validate And Love Ourselves Others Will Surely Follow

It is not uncommon for us to look for acceptance and validation from the outside world.

When we were young, perhaps we didn’t receive the love and attention that we craved.

Perhaps we were compared to others and felt that we didn’t measure up.

Or maybe we didn’t receive the comfort we needed at a moment of despair or pain.

There are many reasons why we might look to others for approval and support.

That can be a trap. Looking for something as elusive as acceptance from others is a tricky game.

We may get it, or we may not. Yet there is a better way to go about it.

Ultimately, all acceptance comes first from self-acceptance.

We may look for love and validation from others, yet when we love and validate ourselves first, the desire for it from others dramatically decreases.

Not that the desire for the love and approval from others ever goes away.

Yet if we are aware and conscious of that desire, and learn to direct it more inwards than outwards, we can find what we are truly looking for.

The side benefit is that when we truly accept ourselves, others are much more likely to as well.

Once again, doing the inner work of self-reflection and self-realization brings on more rewards in the outside world than we imagined.

For there is no inner world or outer world, there is only one world, the world of now.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The intention with which we do anything is very powerful.

It creates the energy that is the foundation of all our actions.

It is like the inflection we use when we speak. The same word can have two totally different meanings depending on our tone.

Are we doing something out of a feeling of guilt or shame? Or out of joy and contribution?

Are we looking to serve and help others, or are we out for our benefit?

Are we giving from a place of abundance and flow, or is it a transaction that we are waiting for the return on?

Of course, more often than not, our intentions are mixed and not purely one thing or another.

That’s okay, as long as we are aware of it.

Knowing what is our main intention, and what are our secondary intentions is very valuable.

Often, we can see how they play out in our interactions with others and most obviously in our results.

Awareness is the first step to understanding and making a change with how we do anything.

Instead of running by default, we can be more intentional with our actions by taking the time to be quiet and think and feel about what we are about to engage in.

Does this action we are about to take make us feel good deep inside?

Does it make us feel that we are a creator and not a victim?

Does is reflect our power and our beauty or our fear and our pain?

It is not difficult to do, we just have to take the time to make it a priority in our life.

So what is your intention?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant