Thoughts from an Expanding Mind

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We all need to call for help sometime.

Not because we aren’t capable or strong. Not because we are unable to deal with a situation.

We call for help because other people have a different experience from ours.

And with different experience comes different insight, different skills, different strengths and weaknesses.

That difference is what makes us human. That difference is what makes us unique.

Sometimes we don’t like the difference. Sometimes that difference is scary.

Yet, when we are in need of someone with that exactly difference, we crave it.

No one has what they need all the time throughout their entire life.

We need teachers, mentors, and guides to help us as we walk along our own path.

That doesn’t make our path any less unique or difficult.

Calling for help is a very human thing to do. When we call for help, we find that together, we can achieve more.

We always have a choice. We can choose to suffer in silence, or we can choose to ask for help and find the support we need.

That does not make us any less of a person. Indeed, it makes us all the more human.

Where do you need help?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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What does it really mean to do our work?

Not our jobs or our businesses, but the deep work that makes us grow and allows our soul to shine?

It’s not about what we tell others, or how we appear in public.

It’s about learning how to be more true to ourselves, and how we show up in the world.

Are we contributing or taking? Are we being truthful or hiding? Are we taking our internal struggles and putting them on others?

Or are we facing our deepest, darkest secrets and unraveling the trauma and the pain?

We often think that if we show our hurt and pain to others they will think less of us. In reality, we become easier to relate to and more human.

We all have experiences that cause us to feel doubt and shame. Being truthful about it, and really working on it, not only make sour lives better, it serves as an inspiration to others.

The world needs more people to step up, bare their soul, and show us how to heal.

The world needs more courageous spirits to lead the way into a brighter day.

So let’s stop hiding and start being the light that shines in a darkened room.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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Asking for help is never an easy thing for us.

Especially from those closest to us, our friends, our family, and our community.

Yet those are the very people who would want to help us the most.

Our ego, our sense of self-sufficiency, our sense of independence, stops us from asking.

And that is a mistake. It is a mistake for many reasons.

First, we are not independent. We are inter-dependent. We cannot survive without each other, and we are not designed to.

Second, when we do not ask for help we are denying others the chance to give. If those closest to us knew how much we needed their help, they would open their arms and their hearts without a second thought. We would do the same.

Third, when we do not ask for help we are denying ourselves the opportunity for true self-care. Being supported by others around us is how we are born, and often, how we die. We all need to feel that support throughout our lives, just as we feel the need to support others.

It is not selfish and it is not a sign of weakness to need other’s support. It is a sign of being human, in a world of humans.

The more we allow ourselves to rely on others, and for others to rely on us, the more we foster community and appreciation.

It brings us all closer together, instead of separating us and tearing us apart.

Do you need help? Can you ask for help?

We are all here to help!

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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Mentorship and guidance is something we all can benefit from.

Regardless of the work we do and the life we live, having someone to confide in and speak with about our struggles is invaluable.

In modern times we see less and less of it, and the result is evident all around us.

We have leaders who are not doing their own personal growth work. They are failing the very causes they are championing.

We have healers who are not whole and conscious in many aspects of their own lives.

We have teachers who are stuck in their own trauma and pass that energy on to their students.

To grow, we must first humble ourselves. To integrate, we must first admit to ourselves we have real issues to deals with.

No one is perfect, and none of us have to go it alone. Someone can always help, whether they are senior to us or not.

When we draw upon our tribe and seek out someone whom we can trust to help us, we become stronger. Not because we are better ourselves. Because we are no longer alone.

Together, we can guide each other, and reach new heights never imagined before.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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We often don’t understand why we are not in flow.

We think we are doing the right things, we think we are on the right path, and still we encounter resistance.

Then something shifts.

We get into a different business or career or we find a new teacher. We form an amazing relationship that takes us in a whole new direction.

And then flow starts to happen. Suddenly things work out with little effort. Doors open for us that we never knew where there.

We then scratch our heads and wonder, how did I not know I was on the wrong path?

It’s easy to think that you are doing fine, you are going in the right direction, because it feels good at the time.

Life often has another plan for us and it is only when we shift into what life wants for us instead of what we want for us that we truly end up in flow.

How do we know when we are not in flow? It’s easy – is there resistance in your path? If there is, it’s time to do something different. Don’t know what that is? Just wait! It doesn’t all have to be resolved in a day. Patience will get you there.

Don’t sweat being in the resistance.  Rest in it. Wait it out. Once your life takes a turn, the resistance will disappear…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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We all seek recognition.

Recognition for a job well done, for a live well lived. Recognition for our accomplishments.

This is not about ego. This is about feeling that our work and our presence is valued.

Where we get in trouble is when we give away our power to the opinion of others.

There is nothing wrong with feeling good when someone pays us a compliment. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the feeling of being appreciated.

Yet, when we rely too much on other to appreciate us and we look for validation from others, we are often disappointed.

A more centered approach is to validate ourselves, to appreciate ourselves to the point that we do not care if others appreciate us.

When we know we have value to give, when we feel in our hearts that we’ve done the best that we can do, and we give ourselves a pat on the back, then we own our own greatness.

The interesting thing is that when we do that, others magically begin to see us more. They recognize us more and appreciate us more.

Other can only reflect back to us when we are putting out. When we feel not enough, other will reflect back to us that we are no enough.

When we strong in our contribution, others will reflect that back to us as well.

The most important person to receive validation from is ourselves. Once we learn that lesson, validation becomes unimportant.

The surest way to liberation from the opinions of others is to value our own opinion above all else.

Then suddenly, everyone else’s opinion shifts.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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We all tell stories. First to ourselves, then to others.

We tell stories about what happens to us, what other people  do, what the world around us is like.

What we often don’t understand is that they are just that, stories.

Stories are something we make up, full of meaning and nuance, and we give great power to the story.

We tell stories about how someone left us, what our parents did to us when we just little children, or about how our boss or our colleagues don’t understand us.

Because we are the ones telling the story, we believe the story. We give great credence to  the story. We know the story must be true.

This is how we get lost in our own story, we forget it is all just a story. And the story is made up, or rather, the meaning we make from the story is made up.

This is great news! It means we can make up a different story! We can change the role we play or the meaning we make from the story.

The key is to remember that the story malleable, fluid, and can be whatever we decide it to be.

What stories are you stuck believing are real? What stories would you like to change in your life?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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Are we more hard on ourselves, or are we more hard on others?

Sometimes we think that what others say is more critical of us than complementary.

When we take the time to listen to ourselves, to really listen to how we speak to ourselves when no one is around, we are surprised to learn how disparaging we are of ourselves.

Because we are with ourselves all the time, we have a lot more ammunition to use against ourselves. We remember every little thing we’ve ever done wrong, at least to our own standards. We pick at how we have failed to live up to our own standards every chance we get.

It is often said that if we spoke to our best friend the way we speak to ourselves inside our head, we would lose that friend in a minute.

We can all learn something from being a little kinder to ourselves, a little gentler.

Being understanding and patient with others comes from first being patient with ourselves.

Practicing compassion with ourselves is the first step towards being compassionate to the world around us.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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There is a big difference between being alone and being by oneself.

Being alone connotes the desire to be with others, yet we are not.

Being by oneself indicates the desire to be with ourselves.

No one likes to feel lonely, yet the feeling can be with us whether we are with people or not.

When we make a conscious choice to spend time with ourselves, and look at it as a gift we give ourselves, then the loneliness dissipates. It has less to do with our physical environment and more to do with our internal state.

If we spend all our time with others, engaged in conversations, listening to others, responding, we do not have the space to feel what is going on inside of us.

It is only in the quiet moments when we are not distracted by the outside world that our internal world is revealed and we can be present to our underlying state. Making the effort to cultivate our presence to what is going on underneath the surface serves us in so many ways. Not the least of which is knowing ourselves better, so when we are engaged with others we can more readily tell what is someone else’s stuff, and what is ours.

How often do we actually take time to be with ourselves? Chances are, not enough.

Yet when we make time to be in solitude, to be quiet, to be with our thoughts and feelings, we find a whole world full of richness, information, and feelings. There is great treasure there, and when we learn to appreciate it, it will uplift us throughout our lives.

So let’s all give ourselves the gift of being in good company, with ourselves.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

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Growing older is not about growing old.

As we accumulate the years in our lives we gain in so many ways. We gain experience, wisdom, and perspectives.

Yet the numbers on the calendar do not dictate our frame of mind, the energy in our heart, or the twinkle in our eye.

We have a choice, as we do with everything, to embrace, enjoy and enliven our latter years with a youthful energy, an innocence, and an energy that says to the world we are always young at heart.

Or we can choose to focus on all the loss, the bitterness, the deprivation we have experienced and make our world darker, decrepit, and depressing.

‘Any Day Above Ground Is A Good Day’ it has been said, and as long we have a breath, we can give more life, give more love and give more light to the world around us.

All of our days are numbered, and none of us exactly how many we have. Let us live as if each day is the best day we have ever had, regardless if we have had few of them or many of them.

Let our smile, our heart, our words and our energy contribute to the joy in the world, especially if its our last day in the world.

What better way to be remembered?