Thoughts from an Expanding Mind

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Trust Is Not About Thinking Trust Is About Feeling Our Way Through

One of the hardest things for us to do is trust ourselves.

We believe that we are not trust-worthy based on our history.

We feel that given the chance we will make the same mistakes again.

Yet, most of the time, when we look back the mistakes we made came from not truly trusting ourselves.

Something went wrong, and we think it’s our fault.

If we really focus on the details, most of the time we will find that something didn’t feel right, yet we still went forward because the was no hard evidence.

That’s where we didn’t trust ourselves.

We didn’t trust the signals that were coming from our bodies.

We didn’t trust our intuition.

We didn’t trust that life was signaling us the best way it could at the time.

We trusted our minds over everything else, and it didn’t turn out the way we expected.

Trust is not about thinking our way through something.

Trust is about noticing our feelings and believing without any other evidence, those feelings are true.

Our brains are actually lousy decision-making devices.

They are great for recording and measuring things.

Our bodies, our gut, our intuitive sense of life, is much better at feeling the way through to the right choice.

We are very trust-worthy when we use all that life has given us.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Our Monsters Are Here To Protect Our Innocence

We all have monsters within us.

We are taught to shun our monsters and keep them hidden.

This is because most people don’t really understand why the monsters are here.

By suppressing our monsters we allow them to fester in the unconscious.

And they will not stay there.

In time, all of our monsters come out.

Sometimes in positive ways, many times in damaging ways.

What we don’t understand is that our monsters are here to protect our innocence.

They are here because our inner child cannot deal with some harsh reality.

Perhaps it is some form of physical pain or emotional trauma that is too difficult to accept.

Perhaps it comes from the loss of a parent or person close to us.

Whatever the reason for the appearance of our monster, it is not here to destroy us.

It is here to help us. To protect us. To serve us.

Yet we have to mature and learn when we are ready to release our monsters.

Yes, they served us well and kept us from the pain.

Yet as we grow and face our pain, our monsters are no longer necessary.

We are no longer dependent on our monsters.

We can see them for what they are, be grateful to them for their service, and allow them to be integrated into our lives.

Our monsters are a part of us, yet they do not have rule over us.

When we are open to our monster’s messages, we can learn quite a lot about ourselves.

Our monsters are not that bad after all…

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Quality Of Our Energy Is More Important Than The Amount

We all talk about energy, usually about how much or how little we have.

We tend to think that we just need more energy so we can get more done.

Yet there is a lot more to energy than the amount.

Having too much energy can be as debilitating as not having enough energy.

More important than the amount of energy, is the quality of the energy.

When there is a high quality of energy inside of us and around us, we function more fully.

Yet what determines the quality of our energy?

The meaning we make from the source of the energy, or of the energy itself.

Is it a fun energy or a depressing energy?

Does the energy come from a friend or a foe?

Is the energy from competition or cooperation?

Does the energy feel erratic or smooth?

Are we able to take in the energy with grace or is it a battle?

Does the energy feel draining to us, or does it fill us up?

The meaning we make from the situations we all encounter come from our experience and our culture.

What one culture labels as bad another labels as good.

What is appropriate in the jungle may not be appropriate in the desert.

What feeds us when we are in nature may drain us in a big city.

Culture, context, meaning, it all plays a role in the story we make around energy.

What is the story you make around the energy in your life?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The More We Push Against Our Trauma, The More It Persists

It is so common to push against the uncomfortable experiences of our lives.

We cut ourselves off from our trauma and our heartbreaks.

We look to “fix” and “resolve” those experiences and how they have affected us.

Yet the more we push against them the more they persist.

The more we separate ourselves from those experiences, the more energy we give to them.

For those aspects of our lives will always push back with an equal or greater force.

What we look to deny and disavow in our lives ends up defining our lives.

This is why the abused turn into abusers.

Is there a better way?

How about stopping the act of pushing against them and giving them space to breathe?

How about acknowledging those aspects of our lives, and allowing them to have a voice?

What would they say to you? Are there lessons there that we are not listening to?

Can we learn to feel the pain and not judge it?

We are so programmed to only feel those feelings that comfort and elate us.

Yet there are so many feelings that don’t, and we are taught to judge and deny those feelings.

And the more we deny them, the more trouble they will cause in our lives.

When we embrace them, dance with them, hold them without judgment or disdain, then we can process them and move beyond them.

The more we learn to allow all of the feelings that arise in our lives, the freer we become to live life fully.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Every Trigger Is An Opportunity To Do Deep Work

When we are triggered by someone in our life, we think the problem is with the other person.

We look at what they did or how they are as the issue.

Yet if we take it more as an opportunity to learn, we can get great insight about ourselves.

That little annoyance can reveal quite a bit about ourselves if we’re willing to look.

Why are we getting so bothered by that action or those words?

Who does that attitude remind us of?

Is there something in ourselves that that person reminds us of?

Lots of times the things in others that bother us the most are the aspects of ourselves that we don’t want to acknowledge.

Can’t stand someone else being cheap? How are we being cheap in our own lives? Perhaps with ourselves?

Don’t like how that person is talking to you? Who do they remind you of? Perhaps a parent or sibling?

The people around act as mirrors for us to see ourselves.

What we see in them, what we like and what we don’t like, says more about us than it does about them.

Being triggered by how a person acts, how they look, or what they say is great!

The more we are triggered the more we can come face to face with our own issues.

So let’s face our triggers, not with anger or annoyance. Let’s face them with curiosity and enthusiasm!

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Loneliness Is Not About Separation From Others But From Ourselves

Being alone does not mean we are lonely.

Being lonely does not mean we are alone.

Loneliness is about separation.

Not separation from others, but from ourselves.

When we are connected to our true authentic nature, we never feel lonely.

That’s because, at the very heart and core of who and what we are, we are a connected eternal spirit.

To cultivate the connection to our soul, being alone serves us.

It is much easier to connect to ourselves when there are no external distractions.

When we look deep inside we may find some scary things, yet ultimately, if we go deep enough, we connect to our true divine nature.

We can also find our divine nature by seeing it in others and connecting to them.

Yet, more often than not, we use connecting to others as an excuse not to look inside.

Why is that?

Perhaps it is because we consciously don’t know what we’ll find there.

Perhaps it is because we fear all those things we have been suppressing will rise up.

Perhaps it is because we just don’t feel worthy.

And yet if we sit still, even for five minutes and close our eyes and feel what is inside of us, a whole new world opens up.

It is a world that is rich and full of texture and feeling.

A world full of connection and support.

Our loneliness comes from disconnecting to that rich inner world.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

To Heal Our Deepest Wounds We Must Speak The Truth About Our Pain

In order to begin our healing process, there is something we must be willing to do.

It is not just about taking better care of ourselves or changing our lifestyle.

It is about something far deeper and more difficult.

To start the journey to healing and wholeness we must be willing to speak our truth.

The truth about how we feel deep inside.

The truth about our pain and suffering.

The truth about our desires and secret wishes.

Without admitting to ourselves what we are experiencing, without admitting what we are feeling, without admitting to ourselves what we truly want, we cannot move forward.

What we hide inside ourselves will continue to control us.

What we shun and fear will continue to affect our lives.

The truth we deny within ourselves will fester and grow until it must come out.

It is not easy to admit the truth to ourselves.

It takes courage to be brutally honest about how we feel and what we want.

Yet we do it not for others, but for ourselves.

To be whole again

To be at peace.

To heal the deepest wounds that stay with us our whole lives.

These are the wounds that kill us, if we do not address them.

These are the wounds that drive us, if we do not speak them out loud.

It is only by shining the light of our own truth upon the blackest corners of our soul that we free ourselves from their shackles.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Wanting Pain To End Is Not Bad – It Is Human

It is hard to admit when we are in pain that we just want it to stop.

We don’t care about the consequences, all we care about is stopping the pain.

Perhaps the pain is seeing a loved one dying, and we just want it to be over.

Perhaps the pain is seeing our own deterioration, and we just want to end.

Perhaps the pain is seeing someone else destroy themselves, and we can’t take it anymore.

It’s normal and human to want it to end.

The hard part is accepting how we feel about it without judging ourselves.

It is easy to fall into guilt, shame, and self-loathing over how we feel.

Yet those emotions do not serve us, and indeed, harm us.

What must we do to accept that we are human and we it is all right to want the pain to stop?

It doesn’t mean we have to act on it.

It doesn’t mean we have to do something about it.

It just means that we are in pain and we want it to stop.

Can we learn to forgive ourselves for that desire?

Can we learn to let go of the guilt and shame and be gentler to  ourselves?

Can we learn to love ourselves enough that we forgive ourselves in spite of how we feel?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

You Can Be Right Or You Can Be Happy – You Can Rarely Be Both

We never really win an argument.

No matter how hard we try to convince the other person that they are wrong, they will only dig in their heels.

If anything, they will only be more convinced they are right.

And if by some miracle we do get them to concede that we are right and they are wrong, they will remain angry at us.

If we lose, we lose, and if we win, we lose.

Perhaps because we are playing the wrong game?

Maybe what we should be concerned with is not winning, but being happy.

The old adage is ” You can be right, or you can be happy, but you can rarely be both.”

If we change our focus from one of winning to one of happiness, we can play a totally different game.

And then we play in a totally different way.

Because now it is not about the end result, it is about how we play.

When we give up our need to be right and focus on our desire to be happy, we can joyful skip down the road.

We can let others have whatever opinions they want to have.

As long as we’re happy, who cares?

Yet being in that joyful place will attract others to wonder why are you so happy?

Maybe then they also will give up the need to be right and focus on being happy instead.

That is how we all win.

So let’s stop playing the win-lose type of game, and learn to play more win-win games.

After all, aren’t they much more fun?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

To Truly Help Others Is To Empower Them To Find Their Own Answers

We often think that when we give someone the answer we are helping them.

By being the shining knight we feel good about rescuing the person from their situation.

In the long run that only makes them depend upon someone else.

To truly help others is to empower them.

Empower them to find their own answers.

Empower them to trust their feelings.

Empower them to see that everything they need is already inside of them.

We do not need more gurus or more masters.

What we need is to be shown how to be our own guru.

When we become truly self-reliant we can achieve amazing things.

Ultimately, our job is to help the other person to see that they don’t need us.

Now that’s empowerment!

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant