Thoughts from an Expanding Mind

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Safety Is About How We Feel Inside Not What Is Going On Around Us

How do we come to a peaceful place inside?

How do we find the tranquility we seek when there is so much chaos in the world?

How do we feel safe when there seems to be so much that is not safe around us?

Feeling safe may be a challenge at times, yet it is possible to achieve when we find our tribe.

The first time we meet a group of people we are all a little bit uneasy.

We’re not sure where or how we fit in.

We don’t know what is expected of us or what to expect of the others.

Yet as we form connections to people individually, we begin to feel more at ease.

It takes time to feel safe in a new situation.

Whether it is a new workplace, a new family, or a new social group.

As we allow ourselves to go through our own process of discovery and exploration of the group, we realize that we do find our equilibrium.

It may not happen as quickly as we would like.

It may not happen in the manner we expect.

Yet when we release ourselves from the expectations and from any timeline, it all goes much smoother.

We connect with one person first. Then another.

Soon we find that we have much more in common with the group then we first thought.

Safety, it turns out, is more about how we feel inside than what is going on around us.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Self-Care Is Essential For Our Own Well-Being And The Well-Being Of Others

We often feel pressure to be of service to others.

Sometimes that works out well.

Other times it wears us down.

If we don’t learn to balance out self-care with service, we can end up with some serious challenges.

It is easy to think of other’s needs and put our own needs to the side.

We feel that if we just show up for others and help them with their challenges we don’t have to worry about ourselves.

Yet that isn’t how things usually work out.

We put ourselves second, or last, and then we have a breakdown while trying to help others.

The breakdown can come in many forms.

It can be physical, it can be emotional, or it can be in our relationships.

What we often don’t understand is that the breakdown occurs exactly because we put our own needs behind that of someone else.

Whether it is a friend, a relative, a partner, or a business, it doesn’t matter.

By not meeting our own needs, by not recognizing that we have to take care of ourselves first, we head down a track that ultimately leads to some kind of breakdown.

The fact that the breakdown occurs is not a bad thing. It is a signal.

It is a signal that we haven’t been operating from a compassionate place and that something needs to change.

Yes, we need to be compassionate to others.

Yet how can we be compassionate to other if we have not yet been compassionate for ourselves?

The breakdown is to show us we need to practice self-care.

Self-care means we have to take care of our own needs in order to have what we need to take care of others.

Practicing self-care is essential for our own well-being as well as the well-being of others.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Releasing Control And Trusting More Allows Life To Surpass Our Imagination

We often get in trouble when we focus too much on control.

The desire for control comes from more than fear.

We look to control our circumstance, our environment, and our relationships because of something deeper.

It comes from a profound lack of trust.

A lack of trust in ourselves.

A lack of trust in the world.

A lack of trust in Life.

In our minds, we have good reasons for this lack of trust.

Yet if we look deep into our hearts, we want to trust more than anything else.

Making the effort to control everything in our lives is exhausting.

It also leaves little room for Life to bring us the unexpected.

While that may sound comforting to us, it is also quite limiting.

Life can surprise us with the most amazing adventures when we allow it to.

Giving up control is not about releasing our responsibilities in our lives.

It is about trusting ourselves deeply that we can handle and thrive in any situation Life brings us.

By trusting more and controlling less, we can allow amazing circumstances to develop.

We can allow others to contribute more and truly create team efforts.

We can lessen the stress in our lives and live more joyfully.

We can start to have a happier journey throughout our lives.

Yes, control can be very comforting.

Is it worth it?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Kinder We Are With Ourselves The Easier It Is To Take Responsibility

How do we take responsibility for our actions?

How do we show up when we’ve made a mistake or done something we thought better of afterward?

Do we justify and throw blame on to others?

Or do we go beyond the idea of blame and merely make right what we have done?

All too often in this society, we find that people fear to take responsibility for their actions and words.

We see how people deny or change what happened out of fear.

Fear drives us to hide from the consequences of our deeds.

We fear how others will respond and react to what we have said or done.

We fear it not because of what others may do.

We fear it because of our own judgments about ourselves.

We fear it because we are being too hard on ourselves, and secretly we are condemning ourselves long before anyone else knows what happened.

This is because we are always our own worst critic, our own worst detractor.

We are far harsher on ourselves than anyone else can ever be.

Our fears are not about what others may do.

Our fears are about merely being exposed and being seen for what we have done.

We fear being human.

We fear making mistakes.

Yet when we allow ourselves to be human and make mistakes, we allow others to do the same.

When we become more compassionate for ourselves, we can be more compassionate for others.

And when we all soften into compassion for being human, there is no reason to be afraid to take responsibility.

We are all guilty, so let’s be more kind to ourselves and to everyone else.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Quality Of Our Lives Is Determined By The Quality Of The Questions We Ask

How often do we listen to the questions we ask ourselves in our heads?

How often do we ask ourselves questions that cannot be answered?

How does it affect how we feel about ourselves and our lives?

When we start to become more conscious and mindful we start to observe ourselves more.

We start to notice little things, such as how we ask such things as “Why does this always happen to me?”

We can look at this and see that questions like this are not helpful to ask ourselves.

For when we ask ourselves any question, it feeds the unconscious mind which then goes to work finding the answers to our questions.

This is a very powerful form of programming that we do to ourselves.

Yet when we ask questions that will inevitably lead to negative answers, it disempowers us.

The solution is to ask more empowering questions that actually serves us.

Questions such as “How can this serve me?” or “How can I have fun with this?” point our minds in a direction that creates a better life for ourselves.

In general, Why questions do not serve us.

How and What questions are usually much more constructive.

So as we notice ourselves asking questions that do not serve us, we can learn to re-frame them into questions that move us forward.

“How does this help me?”

“What can I do to improve this situation?”

“Where can I find more resources to help me with this challenge?”

These are all good questions that move us closer to an answer that actually helps us to find real solutions to the things we face in life.

As we become more adept at asking high-quality questions, the quality of our life improves.

What high-quality questions can you start asking yourself today?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We All Contribute Our Talents And Skills In Our Own Unique Way

We often do not recognize our true gifts.

The things we are good at just come naturally to us.

We don’t think they are a big deal.

Yet when we ask someone else what they think our gifts are, we are quite often surprised by their answer.

We are surprised not because we didn’t know it.

We are surprised because we didn’t value it the way they did.

To us, that talent or gift is just part of who we are.

We’ve always had it.

We use it effortlessly.

It is just not something special to us.

Yet to someone on the outside, it is an amazing talent.

To our friends and our clients, it seems like we have some incredible skill that they feel they could never develop.

And to us, what they can do is beyond us.

We always value what someone else can do much higher than we value our own skills.

Precisely because they can do it and we can’t.

And if we bring in a third person, they will be shocked at what both of us can do.

So if not so much about what we can or can not do.

It is about valuing our own innate talents and skills on par with other people’s innate talents and skills.

We all contribute in our own unique way.

We all can something that makes the world a better place to be.

Let’s learn to value all our contributions for what they are, and stop placing others, or ourselves, above anyone else.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Every Day Is A New Day To Gift The World A New You

Every day is a new day.

Every time we wake up we have an opportunity to create something new.

Every time we open our eyes we have a chance to see the world from a new perspective.

Life is not stagnant.

We do not stay the same.

Every moment we breathe we can make new choices and move in new directions.

We can build something that has never been built before.

We can touch someone’s life with kindness and care.

We can show up with more presence and courage.

We are not limited to our past experience.

We are not limited to our past actions.

We are not limited to our past thoughts.

It does not matter what happened yesterday.

Today is a new day and with it comes new possibilities and new options.

We can create a new world if we choose to.

We can create a new life for ourselves if we choose to.

We can create new experiences for ourselves and others.

It is our choice. It is our life to decide what to do with.

Let today be the new day you have been waiting for to launch your new venture.

Launch your new ideas.

Launch the new version of you as a gift to the world.

The world is waiting for you. What will you do with this day?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

It Is Gratitude That Makes The Holiday Season A Joyful Time

The Holiday Season is not about giving gifts.

It’s not about getting together with family.

It’s not about reviewing the past year.

In fact, the holidays are not about any of the things we usually associate with them.

The holidays are about remembering to be grateful.

To be grateful for Life.

To be grateful for our community.

To be grateful for our experiences.

To be grateful for it all, the struggles and the joys.

For when we learn to be grateful for all of life, life becomes much easier to live.

Gratitude lights our hearts and spirits.

Gratitude is the grease that oils the wheels of our relationships.

Gratitude is the energy that gives us the strength to be generous.

So it is gratitude that makes the family gatherings more pleasant.

It is gratitude that makes the gift giving more fun.

It is gratitude that makes reviewing our past year a joyful endeavor.

It is gratitude that makes looking forward to next year so palatable.

We are grateful for all of you who make this time of year special for us.

With all our hearts, we say “Thank You!”

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Not Giving The Answer Allows People To Grow and Trust Themselves

How do we empower others?

How do we, as coaches, teachers, guides, parents, bosses, and managers, help those we interact with, find their way?

Do we give them all the answers?

Do we tell them all that we have learned?

Or do we guide them to find the answers within themselves?

Handing someone the answer to a challenge they are facing may feel good to use, yet if the person we are trying to help does not learn to find the answers on their own, we have only disempowered them, not empower them.

Being a real guide, a true mentor, means learning to ask the questions that allow them to realize what the correct path is for themselves.

We may think we know the answer.

We may think we have the solution to their issues.

Yet if all we do is share our opinion with them, they have not learned how to access their own inner wisdom.

We have not taught them that they do have the power to resolve their own issues.

We have not given them the gift of our presence and allowed them to use their creativity and trust themselves more.

It does not matter whether the person we are working with is our partner, our lover, our child, our employee, or our co-worker.

It does not matter how important or unimportant the situation may be.

We are only enticing the people around us to find their own path through their own efforts, or we are taking that opportunity away from them.

When we create dependency for others, we create slaves.

When we create the atmosphere for independent thinking, we allow people to grow.

What do you want to create? Follower or fellow leaders?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

We Can Measure Our Success By More Than Money We Can Measure It By The Lives We Touch

Is bigger always better?

Is doing more always the answer?

Is working harder and constantly pushing ourselves to create more, have more, and make more always a good thing?

When do we start to take into account the impact the growth of our business or our company is having on our health, our relationships, our family?

Most of us are trained from the time we are very young to believe in the mantra, Bigger is Better.

We are told by our parents, by media, and by society at large, that you can’t be happy with just a modest income or a small business.

You have to build it big, grow it large, working harder and harder until that day when the big payoff comes.

The thing is, that big payoff doesn’t always come.

The fact is if you look at the statistics, the vast majority of the time we fail.

We get crushed by a competitor who has much deeper pockets than we do.

Someone else is hired who has a better degree or more advanced training and they become our boss instead of us moving ahead.

Rarely do we look at the impact working so hard is having on the other aspects of our life.

We don’t often evaluate how our relationships with those closest to us suffer from our focus on work.

We forget to take stock of all those times we missed being with our children.

And let’s forget about our health.

What about the toll are all those long days and the stress is taking on our bodies?

How much are we shortening our lifespan by not sleeping well over our worry over our work?

Perhaps there is another way. Perhaps we can have different values and different standards for our lives.

As the Dali Lama says, “The planet does not need more ‘successful people’. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of all kinds.”

So perhaps we can find a way to be a better healer and lover so we can be an example of how to live happily by a different standard.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant