To Create A Kinder World We Only Have To Be Kinder Ourselves

We all crave to live in a more friendly and compassionate world.

We want to feel safe to live and be who we are.

We long for the feeling of community and camaraderie.

So it is important to look at what we are doing to create that kind of world.

Are we being friendlier to others?

Are we expressing our compassion for others, even complete strangers?

Do we engage in rituals and activities that engender the feeling of community?

It is time to stop waiting for others to change, and to make the change ourselves.

If we desire to see a world that is more gentle and kind, then it is time for us to be more gentle and kind.

Be the change you want to see in the world” is not just a pretty slogan, it is the way to live.

The power is in our hands, we can and do make a difference every day.

We make a difference by being nice when someone else is in a rush and not being mindful.

We make a difference by being soft when others are being hard.

We make a difference by showing our kindness to those in need.

We make a difference with our presence, our words, and our actions.

Even one small step goes a long way to creating a friendlier world.

What can you contribute to a kinder, gentler planet?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

When We Stop Being Defensive We Can Truly Open Our Hearts To Others

Whenever we have a difficult time with someone else, we naturally start defending ourselves.

We think the other person is attacking us, and we must defend our position or our opinion.

The argument with our coworker or our sibling turns into an offensive on our very being.

So what do we do?

We close out hearts and we go into our heads.

We start analyzing and rationalizing why we are right and they are wrong.

We create all kinds of stories around the incident that make us feel better about ourselves and feel not so good about the other person.

And where does that lead us?

To more hard feelings and a breakdown in communication.

All because we think it is all about us.

There is another way.

If when we are in the middle of the disagreement we keep our hearts open and realize that it is not about us but about the other person, then we can be more compassionate.

We can ask them what’s wrong and listen.

We can hear and feel what’s going on with them instead of putting up a wall.

We can be present with them and see where it takes us.

And we may just find out that is not about us at all.

It’s about the hard time they are dealing with at home, at the office, or in some other aspect of their life.

Suddenly we have evidence that it really wasn’t about us, or the subject of the discussion, it is about them and the difficulties they are going through.

Yet we would never get to that point if we did not give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and assume there is something else going on.

When we stop defending ourselves and assuming that the other person is against us we can transform the situation.

Being present and feeling the pain the other person is in not only helps us to feel better about ourselves, it helps diffuse the tension and energy of the situation and brings healing to everyone involved.

Isn’t that worth the effort to keep our hearts open?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Trusting Ourselves Is The Great Gift We Can Give The World

Trusting ourselves may be one of the hardest things to learn.

It is hard not because we are untrustworthy.

It is hard because of how we have interpreted our experiences throughout our life.

It is very common for us to feel that bad things happened to us because it was our fault.

We must have done something wrong for that bully to beat us up.

We must be wrong for wanting the things that we need as children yet didn’t receive.

There must be something really wrong with us for us to experience all that pain we felt.

We turn all the blame inwards not knowing how else to understand the world around us.

Yet as we unravel the traumas we experienced when we were young, we can begin to see that it was not our fault.

We are not to blame for other people doing bad things to us.

We are not to blame for losing people close to us.

We are not to blame for desiring to have our emotional and physical needs met.

Indeed, all it means is that we are human.

And if we are not to blame for how the world is around us, then we can trust ourselves more.

We can change the story around those experiences and learn that we are basically okay.

Our presence is a gift to others.

Our contributions are valuable.

Our point of view does matter.

And ultimately, there is no blame to go around, there is only the experience of life.

The magic is that once we start to truly trust ourselves, life will give us more reasons to do so.

The more we trust ourselves, the more we can trust ourselves.

And as we practice trusting ourselves, we can inspire others to trust themselves as well.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

The Sign Of True Evolution Is Accepting Our Family Without Judgment

As adults, our families are our biggest teachers.

Our family knows us better than anyone else.

Our family can trigger us in ways no one else can.

The way our family judges us means more to us than anyone else.

Yet how we choose to show up in the midst of all of that says more about us than any other situation.

It is a great opportunity to put our practices and our patience to work.

When those closest to us push our buttons, how we respond shows our maturity.

Who we are as individuals is revealed by our actions in these most trying situations.

We can forgive our friends and our co-workers for behavior that annoys us.

Can we do the same for our family?

Our family may still treat us as if we are 10 years old. Can we respond as if we are no longer 10 years old?

We stress over how our parents or our relatives act. We would prefer they change.

Can we learn to accept them exactly the way they are?

Can we be with our family without judgment even when they judge us?

Can we be kind to them even when they are not kind to us?

Can we be patient with them if when they are not patient with us?

The sign of our true evolution is when we can face those that we know better than anyone else on the planet, and still accept them without judgment and with love.

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant