Self-care has become a greater part of daily conversations.

In the past, no one really talked about it, or even used the term “Self-care.” Now, you can hear it in many daily conversations either directly or indirectly.

Yet for each of us, what we mean by Self-care can be vastly different.

For some of us, it might be just about pampering ourselves. For others, it is about how we manage our energy. And yet for others, it can just be about how much space we give ourselves in our schedule.

Ultimately, it is not about a specific action or practice, but about what makes us feel better. It’s about how we show love to ourselves, how we show how we care about ourselves.

It is not about being self-centered or egotistical, it is about recognizing how important it is for us to take care of ourselves first, so we can show up as our best selves in the world.

If more of us did that, what kind of world would we be living in?


We are often told that our past defines our future.

That our experiences and our history shape what we will create.

Yet the flaw in this idea is that we have a choice to create new memories, new experiences, and new histories.

Every day we rise with a clean slate and it is up to us what to do with it. Yes, it is easy to fall back into all habits. Yes, it is easy to repeat past mistakes. Yes, it is hard to do something new, something different, something unknown.

What we imagine, what we envision and what we focus on can take us into new directions and new territory.

Life is about growth, and stepping onto a new field of possibilities is both daunting and exciting. So let’s find really good reasons to be excited and get past the daunting part.

Our vision creates our new history!


When we look at others who have accomplished more than we have so far, it is easy to feel bad about ourselves.

We compare ourselves and see what we haven’t done while this other person has achieved monetary success, reputation and recognition.

Yet somehow, when we meet someone who has achieved much less than us, we don’t compare ourselves and say “Look how much I have done compared to them.”

Yes, many people have achieved a lot even late in life, though there seems to be something we are missing. Something very important.

When we look at what we have done with our lives as compared to someone else, what we don’t see is how we have affected the lives of dozens, hundreds or even thousands of people in small yet profound ways.

Do we know the effect of that one kind word or smile on that person’s life? Do we know the impact of that small bit of positive energy we sent someone’s way?

Perhaps it might serve us better to consider that we have made ripples in an enormous pond, and that we truly will never know what effect that has had on the world.

Accomplishment is not about the accumulation of wealth or fame, but about the energy we spread around us…


The loss of someone in our lives, particularly someone older, who we’ve looked up for many years, never feels good.

Because they are no longer physically present, we feel like we have lost them. Because we can’t see them or hold them anymore, we think they aren’t in our lives anymore.

Yet they are.

As long we remember them, as long as we still have conversations with them, even if they don’t answer us, they are still present.

In some ways, they are even more present in our lives as they are no longer bound by time and space. Now their energy is free to be with us whenever we choose.

We can still feel them in our hearts. We can still communicate with them in our minds. We can still see them in our dreams.

We have not lost them. They have merely transformed their presence from a physical one to an energetic one.

Perhaps one day we will learn to celebrate them more than we mourn them when they transition. Perhaps one day we will realize that no one is ever lost.


We often think that we have to be right in order to stand up for ourselves.

Actually, the two have nothing to do with each other.

Being right can be about making someone else wrong. We’re right and they’re wrong!

Standing up for ourselves is about expressing our needs, our feelings, and our desires. We can state how we feel without making the other person wrong.

Yes, someone’s actions may cause us to respond by feeling bad about something. We may feel like they cheated us, they lied to us, or they manipulated us.

Saying No to someone is not making them wrong, it is merely stating that you do not want what they want.

It is also helpful to remember that a person is not their actions. Someone’s actions may be bad, but that does not mean they are intrinsically a bad person. It also means you do not have to put up with those actions.


How we identify ourselves is a tricky thing.

When we are young we identify with super heroes, sports figures or people in our lives.

As we grow, we identify ourselves by our profession, our status, or our businesses.

Then change happens, and suddenly we lose not just our job or our business, but our identity as well.

Yet we are none of those things we identify with. Our true identity is something that cannot be labeled or quantified. Our identity is more ephemeral than that.

For we are not our bodies, for our bodies completely change every seven years.

We are not our allegiances, for we can move and change our minds.

We are not our professions or careers, for those can all too quickly be taken away.

So what are we?

We are that energy that exists when we enter a room. We are that spirit that pervades our conversations and our actions. We are that feeling that we have when we connect with others.

We are all that, and more…


Is there a difference between focus, intention and expectation?

When we focus on one thing to help bring it into our awareness, does that not carry intention with it?

When we set an intention, do we not have an expectation that the intention will be fulfilled?

What then distinguishes these three words?

Our focus goes from one thing to another. It creates the feelings around what we experience and is the essential part of our choices.

Intention takes our focus and then puts even more energy behind it to create something new. Our intention is more about what is to come than what currently is.

Expectation arrives on the scene when we start to attach to a specific outcome. Expectation causes us to making meaning from the fulfillment or lack of fulfillment of our vision.

To avoid getting caught in the cycle of disappointment that often accompanies expectation, learning to be open to the unimagined ways something can work out is most valuable.

We focus and then intend. The universe responds, and it usually does so in ways far beyond our imagination…


We often feel that the lower sides of our nature are something to get rid of, suppress, or excise.

Yet, we were born with these natures, these karmas for a reason.

They are a part of us and they serve us in a very fundamental way. They are our greatest teachers and the very aspects we came here to learn about and evolve.

They are not something to run away from or disavow ourselves of. They are something to love, and that may be our greatest challenge.

When we can love these sides of ourselves, bathe them in light, talk to them, listen to them, and truly own them, then our lives transform.

Are there aspects of yourself that you are running away from? What would happen if you started to love those aspects and cherish them instead?

Who would you be if you truly loved every aspect that lives inside you?