Time is a funny thing, isn’t it? We never seem to have enough, we are always chasing after the past or waiting for the future, but when do we take some time to just be present? In the here? In the now? Some people say that being in the present moment is the most powerful place you can be, is it for you? How do you act when you are being present? How do you act when you are not? Can we live in the present moment as a species? How could it change our lives if we did? Was that a present moment thought or a future one?
We all say we need support, whether it be moral support, work support or relationship support. But how often do we actually think about and describe how that support looks?
We’ve all been in the situation where someone is hired for a job, there are some implied expectations that are never directly voiced, and then the person gets in trouble or is fired because they never fulfilled the implied expectations. Assuming someone understands all of the implied expectations is a waste of time and money.
Do you really want support for your project? Your new endeavor? Or your changing relationships?
First – ask for the support explicitly.
Second – describe exactly what kind of support, when and how you want it.
Third – check with the people you are asking support for if they understand all of your needs and have them repeat it back to you. If something is not correct, repeat from step 1!
Sometimes support looks like someone doing a task. Other times support looks like some who is just there to listen to you when you feel the need to talk. Other times support looks like a shoulder to cry on or someone telling you that you can do it and you are capable even when your worst fears arise. Sometimes it just means asking your tribe to spread the word about something.
What kind of support do you need? What does support exactly look like to you? How will it feel when you receive the support you are looking for?
Answer these questions next time before you ask for some support.
What is it that cause us to choose one path over another? What draws one person to become a healer, another an artist, and another a banker? Is any one calling better or worse than another? Is it important to you to follow your calling, or is it more important to do what is expected of you? Are you fulfilled in your current career and industry, or do you daydream about making a drastic change? If so, what is holding you back? What is so scary about making that leap into the unknown? For centuries we have avoided and shunned the unknown, yet isn’t that where our future is?
Some people feel we live in one world. More often than not, it feels like we’re living in two worlds, three worlds, or more. In fact, when you really talk to people, you find that just about everyone is living in their own world. There seems to be billions of them. Some are joyful, some are sad, some are angry, and some are hopeful. What world do you live in? IF you want to know why you’re living in that particular world, look at what you are focusing on. Is it something wonderful or something terrible? Is that really what you want to color your world?
Influence is something is cultivated over time. It is something that is earned, through service, consistency and being trustworthy.
Influence based on fear is not really influence, nor is it real power, it is only an exercise in powerlessness exerting force upon those that would not otherwise follow them. This kind of influence never lasts, and the reaction to it is often severe and in direct proportion in the opposite direction.
One of the best ways we can build trust and increase our influence is to actually give it away. But sharing our influence with others who are worthy of it, who are in alignment with our own beliefs, our following comes to trust us more, to believe in us more, and to respect us more.
Have you ever recommended someone to a friend? Have you told someone about a great movie or fine restaurant? Then you have gifted your influence, perhaps without even realizing it.
When we look at the aspects of life that we want to increase, often the best strategy is give away that very thing. It not only works with influence, but with everything. Give it a try! Give something away this holiday season and see how it comes back to you in multiple ways!
Do you feel empowered or dis-empowered? At any given moment, we can feel good about ourselves, and the control we have over our own lives, but when we focus on the world at large, on the big events that the mass media loves to promote, it can feel like a very dis-empowering message. What’s the best cure for such a situation? Change your focus from those “big” events to what is going on in your own life that you actually can do something about. Little things, baby steps, what is just one thing you can do today to make a change or an improvement in your life?
Agreements are usually built upon assumptions, but often we have different assumptions than the other person or organization and we we don’t even realize it. Did you assume that the meeting was in person or over the phone? This week or next week? That the first consultation was free or paid for? Lots of times we get into disagreements over what what was supposed to happen because we didn’t spend the time to clarify all the assumptions being made. The trickiest thing about assumptions is that we assume our assumptions are the same as everyone else’s assumptions. Most of the time, they are not.
Here in the Western World, it is a time of holidays from many different cultures. Over the centuries these celebrations have taken on different meanings and some times their significance has shifted.
One thing that would be good to remember during this time is that all holidays are meant to be Holy Days. Days of sacredness where we reflect on the spiritual aspects of our lives and bring them to the forefront of our daily lives.
While it may seem that we have gotten very far away from that, it is actually an opportunity to redefine these traditions, and make them something that is not only relevant to our own lives, but also carries the sacredness of life that we all thirst for.
What can you do to make this time of the year more sacred? What imaginative and meaningful ways can you think of to celebrate this time of year, and turn what has become so commercialized into a ritual of significance to you and your friends and family?
We often think there is only one way, or two, to do something.
If we try that one way and it doesn’t work out, we say we’ve tried everything, when in fact we’ve only tried a couple of options.
How many different choices do you give yourself before giving up? Two? Three? Five?
What if on the sixth or seventh try you would hit the nail on the head and get it just right?
Haven’t you short changed yourself?
If you can’t think of any more options for a given situation, then ask for help. Find someone who is not emotionally vested in the situation to look at thing from a different perspective and see they can give you a completely new way to look at it.
Language is often a tricky thing.
We say one thing, thinking it is conveying what we want the other person to understand, but the way the listener interprets what we say changes the meaning.
Even when we are speaking the same language, confusion is always present.
Being clear is not always as easy as we like to think it is.
Can you be more precise with your language?
Are you sure the words you use mean the same thing to the person you are speaking to?